Hey folks, I posted this blog up on my MySpace and figured I might as well share it here too. It's long and to some maybe boring, but I'm sure a lot of you experience a lot of the same feelings.
Lately I have had a lot of time on my hands to sit around and think about everything, growing up, responsibility, riding, my future etc.... It's all kind of scary and overwhelming at times. I started thinking about all the bitchen times I've had in my life that I will never be able to duplicate. As a kid traveling on Friday's after school to the races with my parents and close friends, racing on the weekend and then sleeping in the truck all the way home just to be ready for school on Monday, where we would sit around and talk about the races, or on off weekends having buddies spend the night so we could wake up at 8 am and be ready to ride until dark. As I got older it turned into me and my mechanic and best friend Cliff leaving town for three months to race arenacross in a cargo van with a thousand bucks in my pocket and not knowing anyone or anything about life on our own away from everyone. In those times I met some of the most awesome people, people that even though I might not be in contact with now, will always remain close to me. The low times in my life where I was dead broke and off my bike from shoulder and knee surgeries, confused in life, not knowing if I wanted to continue riding or just move on and have a stable career and settle down. The day Dustin Miller loaned me one of his bikes to start trying out FMX and pretty much started what I've got going now or the day me and him saw that it was raining out so we went to the local bar had beers and then realized, the storm cleared, it was sunny and perfect for riding so we went home and moto'd buzzed as hell, I'm pretty sure Scoot blew out every berm on the track that day and probably crashed once or twice. The year where I was 3rd in points halfway through Dew tour and when the X games invites came out I wasn't invited I remember being so pissed off and frustrated, little did I know the next year I would get my chance and I was fortunate enough to get a medal, something I never ever thought I would do!! Partying until 5 am the morning of the finals in Orlando for the Dew tour, and then somehow winning the damn event ( I don't recommend trying that not for the danger factor but Orlando is the most humid hot place ever and to ride hungover sucks haha!!) Partying at the Hardock in Vegas for Halloween, 2 weeks after Orlando, I was a giant sperm, woke up at 11 am still in my costume on the floor of my hotel, had to ride a show ramp to ramp that night, ended up landing with my leg out and blowing out my knee. I went from the all time high's of my career to an ultimate low and feeling like an idiot. Riding the Cap City tour in Australia, the most fun I have ever had on a motorcycle, the show is amazing and riding with all my buddies in OZ is a blast every year. I think about walking into a hospital in October and coming out in a wheelchair, and just wondering what's going on and how am I supposed to come back and compete and be at a 100% after this. You get that unsettled feeling knowing everyone is practicing and you can't do anything on a bike, I couldn't even go to the garage and at least sit on my bike and make noises on the stand and do nac nacs like I always do when I'm bored. Coming back for my first ride and feeling like a kid getting his first motorcycle, having a blast riding, looking forward to getting up every morning to go ride, that's a good feeling to have again!! I think about all this stuff that has gone on in my life and it trips me out. I never thought I would be riding for a living, never thought I could be a performer on my bike, never thought I would still have the same group of friends after 15 years, never thought that I would have 4,000+ friends on MySpace that are pumped on what I do. I get really bummed out when I think about life when I was 13,14,15 years old, just riding for fun with my friends, I could ride anywhere, anytime and have a blast, chicks didn't matter, partying didn't matter, I just wanted to wake up and go riding. I realize I can never re live those times of my life, but what I can do is make the best of what I've got going on now and enjoy everything I do, whether it be a Crusty show or X games it doesn't matter. I can see my competitive riding coming to an end in the next 2-3 years so I want to go out in style! I know I have rambled on a lot here and I'm sure most of it doesn't make sense, but everything I just typed is basically what goes through my head every night before I go to bed, sometimes it scares me and sometimes it bums me out, but the truth of the matter is I've had a bad ass life and someday I'm gonna realize that and be grateful......
Lately I have had a lot of time on my hands to sit around and think about everything, growing up, responsibility, riding, my future etc.... It's all kind of scary and overwhelming at times. I started thinking about all the bitchen times I've had in my life that I will never be able to duplicate. As a kid traveling on Friday's after school to the races with my parents and close friends, racing on the weekend and then sleeping in the truck all the way home just to be ready for school on Monday, where we would sit around and talk about the races, or on off weekends having buddies spend the night so we could wake up at 8 am and be ready to ride until dark. As I got older it turned into me and my mechanic and best friend Cliff leaving town for three months to race arenacross in a cargo van with a thousand bucks in my pocket and not knowing anyone or anything about life on our own away from everyone. In those times I met some of the most awesome people, people that even though I might not be in contact with now, will always remain close to me. The low times in my life where I was dead broke and off my bike from shoulder and knee surgeries, confused in life, not knowing if I wanted to continue riding or just move on and have a stable career and settle down. The day Dustin Miller loaned me one of his bikes to start trying out FMX and pretty much started what I've got going now or the day me and him saw that it was raining out so we went to the local bar had beers and then realized, the storm cleared, it was sunny and perfect for riding so we went home and moto'd buzzed as hell, I'm pretty sure Scoot blew out every berm on the track that day and probably crashed once or twice. The year where I was 3rd in points halfway through Dew tour and when the X games invites came out I wasn't invited I remember being so pissed off and frustrated, little did I know the next year I would get my chance and I was fortunate enough to get a medal, something I never ever thought I would do!! Partying until 5 am the morning of the finals in Orlando for the Dew tour, and then somehow winning the damn event ( I don't recommend trying that not for the danger factor but Orlando is the most humid hot place ever and to ride hungover sucks haha!!) Partying at the Hardock in Vegas for Halloween, 2 weeks after Orlando, I was a giant sperm, woke up at 11 am still in my costume on the floor of my hotel, had to ride a show ramp to ramp that night, ended up landing with my leg out and blowing out my knee. I went from the all time high's of my career to an ultimate low and feeling like an idiot. Riding the Cap City tour in Australia, the most fun I have ever had on a motorcycle, the show is amazing and riding with all my buddies in OZ is a blast every year. I think about walking into a hospital in October and coming out in a wheelchair, and just wondering what's going on and how am I supposed to come back and compete and be at a 100% after this. You get that unsettled feeling knowing everyone is practicing and you can't do anything on a bike, I couldn't even go to the garage and at least sit on my bike and make noises on the stand and do nac nacs like I always do when I'm bored. Coming back for my first ride and feeling like a kid getting his first motorcycle, having a blast riding, looking forward to getting up every morning to go ride, that's a good feeling to have again!! I think about all this stuff that has gone on in my life and it trips me out. I never thought I would be riding for a living, never thought I could be a performer on my bike, never thought I would still have the same group of friends after 15 years, never thought that I would have 4,000+ friends on MySpace that are pumped on what I do. I get really bummed out when I think about life when I was 13,14,15 years old, just riding for fun with my friends, I could ride anywhere, anytime and have a blast, chicks didn't matter, partying didn't matter, I just wanted to wake up and go riding. I realize I can never re live those times of my life, but what I can do is make the best of what I've got going on now and enjoy everything I do, whether it be a Crusty show or X games it doesn't matter. I can see my competitive riding coming to an end in the next 2-3 years so I want to go out in style! I know I have rambled on a lot here and I'm sure most of it doesn't make sense, but everything I just typed is basically what goes through my head every night before I go to bed, sometimes it scares me and sometimes it bums me out, but the truth of the matter is I've had a bad ass life and someday I'm gonna realize that and be grateful......
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