If there's one thing the sports world has taught us over the past six months, it's that scandals are best served at the height of audience attention. Last week, Tim Donaghy came forward with the revelation that the NBA fixed a 2002 playoff series between the Lakers and Kings, right in the midst of the Celtics/Lakers NBA Finals.
This was just a few months after Boston Herald beat writer John Tomase unveiled the tale of the Patriots taping a Rams Super Bowl practice walk-through in 2002. The unveiling occurred on, of all days, Super Bowl XLII. The story was proved false through, well, we don't know exactly what type of investigating Roger Goodell did, but the record shows that the story has no legs. It remains to be seen what will come of the Donaghy revelation, but we wouldn't bet on Donaghy as a truth-teller (see what we did there?).
Looking at the sports world through the lens of recent history, the JSF shareholders had an extensive meeting and came to the agreement that the following scandals will come to light over the next year.
World Series ? On the day of Game 2 of the 2008 World Series, umpire Phil Cuzzi ? who some accused as bitter after being left off the World Series umpiring crew - announces that Bud Selig ordered a fix of the 2005 World Series so that the Brewers would sweep the White Sox. The fix was soon called off when Selig was alerted the Brewers failed to make the postseason.
Stanley Cup -The tradition of having every Cup winner's name inscribed on the Stanley Cup is compromised when it comes to light that esteemed member of the 1988-89 Calgary Flames, Lanny McDonald's name was actually inscribed as "Lenny McDougal".
Olympics -On the eve of the track and field finale in Beijing, Edwin Moses is accused of wearing performance enhancing goggles during his gold medal 400M hurdles race in 1984.
Ford 400 - At NASCAR's final race in the chase to the Sprint Cup, Dr. Jerry Punch announces his contention that the Joe Gibbs Racing Team filmed the Team Penske's pre-race walk thru.
Tour de France ? Lance Armstrong never really had cancer; it was a ploy by Nike so they could partner with the Lance Armstrong Foundation in the mass production of Livestrong bracelets.
Masters ? Phil Mickelson's close friend and personal surgeon reveals Phil had an affair with a 15 year old country singer in 1999 and paid for a breast augmentation three years later ? for both the girl and himself.
American Gladiators -Minutes before the start of the season finale, rumors are leaked that Malibu wasn't this guy's real name.
Just more fuel for the conspiracy theorists.
Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth
"I got a new favorite color, I know that, man. Well, I'm more worried about Erin than I was me, wearing that skirt tonight in the Windy City. You think all eyes weren't on her during batting practice?" - Rick Sutcliffe, (via SI)
We have one question for Rick Sutcliffe: how good is this?
___
"My shoulder is clean. There's an issue about me getting in a consistent throwing position, but it has nothing to do with the condition of my shoulder. Whoever writes that stuff is wrong." - Mark Mulder
Appearing that same day...
"Hard to believe Cardinals pitcher Mark Mulder may be close to the end. He's been told he needs a third shoulder surgery." ? John Heyman, SI.com
Another solid job by the mainstream media using their college degrees and journalistic integrity to make sure us readers only get confirmed, rock solid facts.
___
"Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It's like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan." - Jemele Hill
We haven't figured out how this makes any semblance of sense, but we do know that Jemele was temporarily relieved of her duties at ESPN - and must really hate the Celtics.
Americans Still Bitter over ESPN's Rising Level of NOW
Sunday night, Peter Gammons played a rendition of Take Me Out to the Ballgame to kick off ESPN's summer festival of music. Truthfully, we have no idea if that's what the latest ESPN promotion is called, but we do know the network included ample suck in the creation of the latest promotion, as confirmed by ESPN producer Jay Levy:
"Personally, I'm a huge American Idol fan, so I figured why not have our own little American Idol."
Yes; why not? Surely baseball games and highlights aren't enough to nourish the appetite of the average sports fan. The WorldWide Leader will commence their 'battle of the bands' later this month, with each act debuting a music video of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame", in honor of the 7th inning stretch anthem turning 100 this year.
All told, REO Speedwagon, Gretchen Wilson, Branford Marsalis, and "rockers" Candlebox will have videos, along with a handful of other musicians. We don't know about you, but we can't wait for Candlebox's performance. We're so going to online to vote for them.
Although, with a perm-mullet like REO, there's no way they aren't getting some love.
Javon Walker Near-Death... AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT YAHOO! FANTASY FOOTBALL!
We're not trying to make light of Javon Walker being found unconscious on a Las Vegas strip, but we were a little caught off guard by Yahoo! Sports' account at the end of their story.
Talks Between ESPN and Brett Favre to Create ESPN Favre Still in Progress
We thought that riding off into the sunset of (supposed) retirement would lead to a reversal of excessive media coverage of the Gunslinger, but... wait, no we didn't. He's Brett Freaking Favre and they're ESPN.
Sure enough, the Favre media frenzy still has some gas left in the tank. During halftime of the inaugural 2008 MNF game, the Packers will retire Brett Favre's jersey and ESPN will be along for the ride. Nothing wrong with that, other than the fact that the WorldWide Leader is going to the following lengths of overkill to document every second of Favre.
From an ESPN release to Packersnews.com:
"ESPN will be sending its entire 'Monday Night Countdown' crew to Green Bay for Vikings-Packers MNF opener on Sept 8. We have not done this since the first MNF season on ESPN in 2005, but with the Packers set to retire Brett Favre's jersey -- and this being ESPN's first visit to Lambeau Field for a MNF game -- the decision was a no-brainer. We will have multiple shows originating from site throughout the day.
Here's the planned lineup of ESPN programs for Monday, Sept 8 (All times CT):
Mon 12:30 PM NFL LIVE
Mon 01:00 PM NFL PRIMETIME
Mon 02:00 PM AROUND THE HORN
Mon 02:30 PM PARDON THE INTERRUPTION *
Mon 03:00 PM SPORTSCENTER MONDAY KICKOFF (segments *)
Mon 04:00 PM MONDAY NIGHT COUNTDOWN *
Mon 06:00 PM MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL -- MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ GREEN BAY PACKERS
Mon 09:15 PM MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL -- DENVER BRONCOS @ OAKLAND RAIDERS (halftime segments *)
Tue 12:30 AM SPORTSCENTER (segments *)
Tue 02:00 AM NFL PRIMETIME (UPDATED W/ HIGHLIGHTS FROM MNF GAMES)
* will originate from Lambeau Field in Green Bay
In addition to the MNF crew that will call the game (Mike Tirico, Rob Jaworski and Tony Kornheiser), the Monday Night Countdown team of Chris Berman, Stuart Scott, Tom Jackson, Keyshawn Johnson, Steve Young, Emmitt Smith and Chris Mortensen will all be on-site, as well as reporter(s). Michael Wilbon is also expected to be on-site for Pardon the Interruption w/ Kornheiser." (JSF note: our guess is that the "reporter(s)" will be Rachel Nichols and Sal Paolantonio, meaning that at least a grand total of 13 on-air personalities will be at Labmbeau Field).
That entire, comprehensive plan just reeks of Chris Berman. No way he was going to let a Favre retirement ceremony go by the wayside without any Boomer interaction. We're pretty sure he's had September 8th circled on his calendar for months.
Stuart Scott is already at Lambeau Field, by the way. Early reports indicate he IS in fact holding a football. Just a few more months, Stu. Hang in there, buddy.
Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line
When assessing the overall impact of Bob Carpenter, you might be inclined to assume that only American sporting events have been influenced by the movement towards snappy lines. Wrong. The Bobber is global, people.
Case in point, halfway around the world, the Euro 2008 soccer championships are ongoing and ESPN's announcers have been determined to make sure the world knows about the power of snap...
"Well it's a dutch oven. And the French are toast" ? Adrian Healey after Holland scored to make it 4-1 over France.
"Eva Longoria was there with Tony Parker for those of you who might be Desperate Housewives fans. Now we have desperate footballers on the pitch trying to advance to the quarterfinals." ? Rece Davis on the France - Italy game
The Bobber is giving the European equivalent of two thumbs up.
The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig. They swear this stuff is real. E-mail them at info@joesportsfan.com
This was just a few months after Boston Herald beat writer John Tomase unveiled the tale of the Patriots taping a Rams Super Bowl practice walk-through in 2002. The unveiling occurred on, of all days, Super Bowl XLII. The story was proved false through, well, we don't know exactly what type of investigating Roger Goodell did, but the record shows that the story has no legs. It remains to be seen what will come of the Donaghy revelation, but we wouldn't bet on Donaghy as a truth-teller (see what we did there?).
Looking at the sports world through the lens of recent history, the JSF shareholders had an extensive meeting and came to the agreement that the following scandals will come to light over the next year.
World Series ? On the day of Game 2 of the 2008 World Series, umpire Phil Cuzzi ? who some accused as bitter after being left off the World Series umpiring crew - announces that Bud Selig ordered a fix of the 2005 World Series so that the Brewers would sweep the White Sox. The fix was soon called off when Selig was alerted the Brewers failed to make the postseason.
Stanley Cup -The tradition of having every Cup winner's name inscribed on the Stanley Cup is compromised when it comes to light that esteemed member of the 1988-89 Calgary Flames, Lanny McDonald's name was actually inscribed as "Lenny McDougal".
Olympics -On the eve of the track and field finale in Beijing, Edwin Moses is accused of wearing performance enhancing goggles during his gold medal 400M hurdles race in 1984.
Ford 400 - At NASCAR's final race in the chase to the Sprint Cup, Dr. Jerry Punch announces his contention that the Joe Gibbs Racing Team filmed the Team Penske's pre-race walk thru.
Tour de France ? Lance Armstrong never really had cancer; it was a ploy by Nike so they could partner with the Lance Armstrong Foundation in the mass production of Livestrong bracelets.
Masters ? Phil Mickelson's close friend and personal surgeon reveals Phil had an affair with a 15 year old country singer in 1999 and paid for a breast augmentation three years later ? for both the girl and himself.
American Gladiators -Minutes before the start of the season finale, rumors are leaked that Malibu wasn't this guy's real name.
Just more fuel for the conspiracy theorists.
Crap that actually came from somebody's mouth
"I got a new favorite color, I know that, man. Well, I'm more worried about Erin than I was me, wearing that skirt tonight in the Windy City. You think all eyes weren't on her during batting practice?" - Rick Sutcliffe, (via SI)
We have one question for Rick Sutcliffe: how good is this?
___
"My shoulder is clean. There's an issue about me getting in a consistent throwing position, but it has nothing to do with the condition of my shoulder. Whoever writes that stuff is wrong." - Mark Mulder
Appearing that same day...
"Hard to believe Cardinals pitcher Mark Mulder may be close to the end. He's been told he needs a third shoulder surgery." ? John Heyman, SI.com
Another solid job by the mainstream media using their college degrees and journalistic integrity to make sure us readers only get confirmed, rock solid facts.
___
"Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It's like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan." - Jemele Hill
We haven't figured out how this makes any semblance of sense, but we do know that Jemele was temporarily relieved of her duties at ESPN - and must really hate the Celtics.
Americans Still Bitter over ESPN's Rising Level of NOW
Sunday night, Peter Gammons played a rendition of Take Me Out to the Ballgame to kick off ESPN's summer festival of music. Truthfully, we have no idea if that's what the latest ESPN promotion is called, but we do know the network included ample suck in the creation of the latest promotion, as confirmed by ESPN producer Jay Levy:
"Personally, I'm a huge American Idol fan, so I figured why not have our own little American Idol."
Yes; why not? Surely baseball games and highlights aren't enough to nourish the appetite of the average sports fan. The WorldWide Leader will commence their 'battle of the bands' later this month, with each act debuting a music video of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame", in honor of the 7th inning stretch anthem turning 100 this year.
All told, REO Speedwagon, Gretchen Wilson, Branford Marsalis, and "rockers" Candlebox will have videos, along with a handful of other musicians. We don't know about you, but we can't wait for Candlebox's performance. We're so going to online to vote for them.
Although, with a perm-mullet like REO, there's no way they aren't getting some love.
Javon Walker Near-Death... AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT YAHOO! FANTASY FOOTBALL!
We're not trying to make light of Javon Walker being found unconscious on a Las Vegas strip, but we were a little caught off guard by Yahoo! Sports' account at the end of their story.
Talks Between ESPN and Brett Favre to Create ESPN Favre Still in Progress
We thought that riding off into the sunset of (supposed) retirement would lead to a reversal of excessive media coverage of the Gunslinger, but... wait, no we didn't. He's Brett Freaking Favre and they're ESPN.
Sure enough, the Favre media frenzy still has some gas left in the tank. During halftime of the inaugural 2008 MNF game, the Packers will retire Brett Favre's jersey and ESPN will be along for the ride. Nothing wrong with that, other than the fact that the WorldWide Leader is going to the following lengths of overkill to document every second of Favre.
From an ESPN release to Packersnews.com:
"ESPN will be sending its entire 'Monday Night Countdown' crew to Green Bay for Vikings-Packers MNF opener on Sept 8. We have not done this since the first MNF season on ESPN in 2005, but with the Packers set to retire Brett Favre's jersey -- and this being ESPN's first visit to Lambeau Field for a MNF game -- the decision was a no-brainer. We will have multiple shows originating from site throughout the day.
Here's the planned lineup of ESPN programs for Monday, Sept 8 (All times CT):
Mon 12:30 PM NFL LIVE
Mon 01:00 PM NFL PRIMETIME
Mon 02:00 PM AROUND THE HORN
Mon 02:30 PM PARDON THE INTERRUPTION *
Mon 03:00 PM SPORTSCENTER MONDAY KICKOFF (segments *)
Mon 04:00 PM MONDAY NIGHT COUNTDOWN *
Mon 06:00 PM MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL -- MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ GREEN BAY PACKERS
Mon 09:15 PM MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL -- DENVER BRONCOS @ OAKLAND RAIDERS (halftime segments *)
Tue 12:30 AM SPORTSCENTER (segments *)
Tue 02:00 AM NFL PRIMETIME (UPDATED W/ HIGHLIGHTS FROM MNF GAMES)
* will originate from Lambeau Field in Green Bay
In addition to the MNF crew that will call the game (Mike Tirico, Rob Jaworski and Tony Kornheiser), the Monday Night Countdown team of Chris Berman, Stuart Scott, Tom Jackson, Keyshawn Johnson, Steve Young, Emmitt Smith and Chris Mortensen will all be on-site, as well as reporter(s). Michael Wilbon is also expected to be on-site for Pardon the Interruption w/ Kornheiser." (JSF note: our guess is that the "reporter(s)" will be Rachel Nichols and Sal Paolantonio, meaning that at least a grand total of 13 on-air personalities will be at Labmbeau Field).
That entire, comprehensive plan just reeks of Chris Berman. No way he was going to let a Favre retirement ceremony go by the wayside without any Boomer interaction. We're pretty sure he's had September 8th circled on his calendar for months.
Stuart Scott is already at Lambeau Field, by the way. Early reports indicate he IS in fact holding a football. Just a few more months, Stu. Hang in there, buddy.
Bob Carpenter Memorial Snappy Line
When assessing the overall impact of Bob Carpenter, you might be inclined to assume that only American sporting events have been influenced by the movement towards snappy lines. Wrong. The Bobber is global, people.
Case in point, halfway around the world, the Euro 2008 soccer championships are ongoing and ESPN's announcers have been determined to make sure the world knows about the power of snap...
"Well it's a dutch oven. And the French are toast" ? Adrian Healey after Holland scored to make it 4-1 over France.
"Eva Longoria was there with Tony Parker for those of you who might be Desperate Housewives fans. Now we have desperate footballers on the pitch trying to advance to the quarterfinals." ? Rece Davis on the France - Italy game
The Bobber is giving the European equivalent of two thumbs up.
The Media Circus is written by Josh Bacott and Patrick Imig. They swear this stuff is real. E-mail them at info@joesportsfan.com
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