Yardbarker: David Ortiz

Linkz of the Week: Batman, The Harlem Globetrotters, and Repeated Punches to the Head

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 19:19:55 -0500

The Linkz of the Week are your hebdomadal jaunt through the world of sports and sports media. Have a link you think I could use? Seriously? That's awesome, this is hard work, you know. Send it along to me at tdonegan@gwu.edu and I'll probably post it, I'm cool like that. 1. ESPN To Do Live Ads With Rookie Actor According to USA Today columnist Michael Hiestand, ESPN will apparently begin airing at least 25 live 30-second ads featuring Steve Braband daily, for 15 days. This could be a colossal failure or a great thing for the network. ESPN is always at its best when it's being kooky and self-deprecating (think: classic Sportscenter ads) and it sounds like this will be similar. 2. Father Chooses Batman Over Son; Thoroughly Enjoys Movie Not sports related, at all, but still funny horrifying. Cars can easily reach 120 degrees on a hot day. How dumb can some people be? To be fair, though, have you seen The Dark Knight. That's almost worth infanticide. 3. Coach Uses Violent Sport of Rugby to Help Inner-City Youth be Less Violent...Somehow Succeeds Only joking about the title, this is a great story from Martin Bashir of Nightline that delves into a program outside of Los Angeles that uses rugby to help kids stay out of gangs. I play rugby myself and can tell you that it really does bring people together from all kinds of backgrounds, more so than any other sport, in my opinion. 4. Madden TD Celebrations Make Me Want Game… NOW (With Leather via Awful Announcing) Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I love video games…but I haven't bought a Madden game in almost six years. Traitorous, I know. I was already planning on buying Madden before I saw this. Now I'm preordering it. I can't wait. 5. CBS To Stick To MMA Plan: Hopes For More Blood, Less Bulbous Ear Explosions If you saw the last time CBS and MMA got together for the Kimbo Slice coming out party, you know that watching a man get punched in the head and having his disgusting bulbous ear explode is not that exciting. Nor is having the marquee fighter get punched in the top of the head and lose about two years off his life before "winning" by TKO. This time should go a little better as Robbie Lawler, an extremely competent fighter unlike Kimbo Slice, goes up against Scott Smith. Less exciting names, but probably an infinitely better fight. Check it out. 6. Harold Reynolds Makes Triumphant Return After being summarily ousted from ESPN for what ended up being a far less serious offense than was originally thought, Reynolds will return by broadcasting for TBS this weekend. He's calling the Marlins-Cubs game, but if you like baseball, it'll be a fun game to watch. Reynolds is one of my favorite analysts and I'm glad he's back in the game. Also in the linked post at Awful Announcing is the rest of your announcing schedule for the weekend. 7. David Ortiz Makes Return Jim Caple from ESPN.com has a pretty nice article here, discussing the Red Sox and what they've done since Ortiz was hurt and what their prospects are with the big man back. 8. Man Gets Traded From Worst Team Ever to Best Team Ever From Punchline to Powerhouse, Tom Friend for ESPN.com writes about Harold Williams, the man who was traded from the Washington Generals to the Harlem Globetrotters. Seriously. 9. Classic Link of the Week: Pure Heart by William Nack Pure Heart is the story about William Nack and his relationship to the horse Secretariat, which he covered through his career. I always distinctly remember it for this little half a paragraph: "Sixteen years had come and gone since then, and I had never attended a Kentucky Derby or a yearling sale at Keeneland without driving out to Claiborne to visit Secretariat, often in the company of friends who had never seen him. On the long ride from Louisville, I would regale them with stories about the horse—how on that early morning in March of '73 he had materialized out of the quickening blue darkness in the upper stretch at Belmont Park, his ears pinned back, running as fast as horses run." Sometimes that's all it takes. 10. Link of the Week: Coolbaughs Keep Memories Close by Elizabeth Merrill It seems like Merrill has become ESPN's go-to for interviewing people who have gone through heart-wrenching loss. At least that's how it seems to me after reading her features on people such as USA Softball's coach who lost his wife and now the family of that minor league base coach who was killed by a foul ball last year. These stories are always tough to get but Merrill really gets her subjects to open up well. It's extremely well-written work from a talented young writer. The part about Coolbaugh's widow keeping photos knee-high so her young kids can see and remember their dad really got to me. What can I say? I'm a big softie sometimes.Until next week, Mahalo.

Basebrawl: Arrests, Ejections, Fun.

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 11:25:57 -0500

Listen or read about a hilarious and entertaining brawl in a Minor League baseball game. [Video inc.]

KEEP IT REAL FRIDAY: The RAYS ARE DONE!

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 00:14:19 -0500

When I'm right, I gloat. When I'm wrong however, I avoid it at all costs. Last week I mentioned, that when Tiger isn't involved in the major championships(The Masters, U.S. Open, Open Championship, and the PGA Championship) you won't see the winner on the cover of SI and you probably won't remember who won. U.S. Olympic swimmer, Michael Phelps, was on the cover of SI, and the 2008 Open Championship will not be remembered for the winner, now 2-time champ Padraig Harrington, but for a runner-up, Greg Norman. Hats off to Norman, but I'm more interested in what WOULD have happened if Tiger was there, come on so are you, KEEP IT REAL!

Random Red Sox Video - The Batting Stance Guy

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:29:20 -0500

With a few off-day over the next few weeks The Bottom Line will be featuring Random Red Sox Videos... This week it's The Batting Stance Guy making us wonder how Mo Vaughn ever hit anything and who taught Kevin Youkilis how to hit...

A Cut Above the Rest

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:59:12 -0500

On the day the Bush administration announced its opposition to tobacco regulation, we honor MLB's big dippers. In collaboration with a fantastic new dip enthusiast site, RipDips.com, we present our favorite players at each position who are unashamed to pack a fatty on national television.

David Ortiz inches closer to returning

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 10:10:14 -0500

While Jon Lester was baffling the easily-baffleable Seattle Mariners, David Ortiz was taking another step towards full recovery from his injury. Instead of playing in Triple-A Pawtucket (where he bought the team goat tacos and other gross sounding food), he was taking his swings with the Double-A Portland Sea Dogs. Big Papi went 2-3 with 2 singles and a walk; and is still on target to return to the Red Sox on Friday to face the Yankees.

David Ortiz One Step Closer to Return and 'Tek breaking out?

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:57:00 -0500

Last night was the start of David Ortiz' last part of his journey back to the Majors, almost two months after going on the disabled list with a partially torn tendon sheath in his left wrist. Ortiz, sporting a Portland Sea Dogs uniform, went 2-3 with an RBI, R, and a BB. Although, unfortunately, he could not homer in this game. Overall, however, Ortiz is 5-12 with 3 HR and 6 RBI's in his rehab stint. Papi is expected to play two more games with Portland before finally arriving for his long awaited comeback to Fenway Park, a series in which the Red Sox will host three important games with the New York Yankees. David Ortiz talked very positively about his rehab and return at the Boston Herald: [...]

Create The Caption #248

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:38:56 -0500

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Last Friday's Winners....

"Not pictured: Tom Green on keyboard singing "Papi would you like some juggies?""- Pete

"I'm the Jugg-ernaut, bitch!"- Anon

"This isn't what I meant when I asked you to show me your jugs!"- Wade

"Little did the unasumming fans know David Ortiz is lactose intolerant and those milk jugs were about to feel his wrath."- Ryan O'Leary
_______________________________________

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Steve Nash and Baron Davis riding a tandem bike in Cali? (Via Merkin Sports)

Daily Links:

More Conspiracy Theories Surrounding Mike And The Mad Dog (Bleacher Report)
Submit Ideas To Change The MLB All Star Game (MLB America)
Manny Is Still Hilarious (Sox and Dawgs)
NBAers Love Them Some Cheesecake Factory (Fanhouse)
Kato Kaelin Has His Own Reality Show (Randball)
A British Open Recap (Calling The Shots)
Demolition Derbies Are Awesome (On 205th)
An Interview With The New Harold Baines Statue (Big League Stew)
Your NL Cy Young Candidates (The Love of Sports)
An Interview With J Traina Of Hot Clicks (You Been Blinded)
Taylor To The Skins Was Very Predictable (Rumors and Rants)
More People Need To Wear Pink Pants (Simon on Sports)
Stay Classy Ohio (With Leather)

Road Woes Continue and Eckersley Calls Out Manny

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:10:39 -0500

The Boston Red Sox have now lost 10 of their last 12 road games, and the road doesn't get much easier as they travel to Safeco Field to take on the lowly Seattle Mariners. Granted, Seattle has the worst record in the AL, but the way the Red Sox have been playing, more specifically on the road, it won't be a surprise if Seattle musters 2 of the 3 games. Dominant at home(36-11) and atrocious on the road(21-32), it sums up the Sox' season thus far. The Los Angeles Angels are 5-1 against the Red Sox this year, easily the only team that has dominated the Red Sox this year. Last night the Angles capped off the sweep with a 5-3 victory. Casey Kotchman's two-run double off Manny Delcarmen put the Angles up for good. In comes Francisco Rodriguez, notching his 40th save of the year(fastest to reach 40 saves), see ya, ball-game. The offense has been on tilt recently. Michael Silverman of the Boston Globe points out that the Red Sox were out-hit 30-19 over the weekend, with 7 of those 19 hits coming from Dustin Pedroia.

MLB Weekly Sleepers (7/20)

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 08:20:52 -0500

Screaming Sports' Billy Smith breaks out his fourth edition of MLB Sleepers and runs down a quick list of potential needles (in a haystack - get it?) for the upcoming week. So, who could surprise some unsuspecting opponents this week? Only one way to find out ... click it.

PRESS AVAILABILITY with BIG PAPI

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 06:29:43 -0500

Initiation rites in Double-A Portland include eating an actual Sea Dog. Pass the tarter sauce!

TO MANNY OR NOT TO MANNY?

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 08:50:29 -0500

After the Red Sox make their run at a third World Series Trophy in just five years, a task no one could have foreseen a decade ago, they will be presented with one of the toughest management decisions this franchise has ever seen. Live with, or without Manny Ramirez, one of the greatest hitters this town has ever seen.

Under my microscope: Delgado picks it up

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 03:05:42 -0500

Trade rumors are swirling around Brian Fuentes, but he's pitching impressively in the meantime, says Mike Harmon. Also, fantasy news on the Mets and latest injury updates on Takashi Saito, Chris Carpenter, Bobby Jenks and David Ortiz. How will Scott Kazmir's and Dan Uggla's performance in the All-Star game affect them?

Red Sox Top 5 Keys to a Successful Second Half

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 21:37:10 -0500

Big Papi is coming...As the Boston Red Sox embark on their journey for a third championship in five years, many questions arise surrounding what needs have to be met in order to achieve the title, "2008 World Champions." What do the Boston Red Sox have to address heading into tonight's series against the Los Angeles Angles? We've compiled our top five list with the most important factors that will help the Red Sox reach another milestone. 5. Bullpen consistency... The World Champion Red Sox of a year ago had a team bullpen ERA of 3.10 and compiled a .226 batting average against, 1st in all of baseball in 2007. Switch gears to 2008 and we can see that things have seriously changed. Hideki Okamjima hasn't been the "Oki" of '07, Delcarmen and Hansen have experienced their ups and downs, Papelbon hasn't been as dominating(we're not knocking him, trust us), and Timlin's ERA is through the roof. In order for the Sox to make a serious run in the postseason, an addition to the bullpen needs to be addressed. Recently, the Sox have been searching for what they hope to be an acquisition that will help benefit the bullpen's recent lack of consistency. Names such as left-handers Brian Fuentes, Ron Mahay, and Demarso Marte have been in the mix. 4. Solidity at SS When the Red Sox signed Julio Lugo just before the 2007 season, they were looking for an average defensive player but an above average bat. Granted, Julio Lugo has cut down the errors drastically from earlier in the season, but his bat hasn't produced. $9 million dollars is a lot of money to be paying a mediocre shortstop who's on pace to drive in less than 45 RBI's. Has anyone forgotten that Lugo batted .237 last year? Jed Lowrie has stepped up to take Lugo's spot as the veteran shortstop is on the disabled list with a strained left-quad. Lugo won't be back for five-to-six weeks. Even if Lowrie shines in his place the next couple of months, it's almost certain Lugo will take his spot back solely based on his contract and the amount of money the Sox have invested into him. Boston should be looking for a shortstop who plays above-average defense with an average bat. That's all the Sox need from that position.

David Ortiz: Papi's Back!

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:15:08 -0500

Finally, Big Papi is back. No, not tonight. But soon. Real soon. Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz just played his first scheduled rehab assignment with the Triple A Pawtucket Red Sox last night