Yardbarker: The Backyard (Humor, etc.)

Deja Vu....American Pyscho aka Batman Gets Arrested.....(Hes Free Now!!)

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:44:53 -0500

Christian Bale, Bruce Wayne, Patrick Batemen. whatever you call him got arrested for supposedly hitting his mom and sister. Of course now this is all speculation and I beleive hes not thtat type of guy. But this is a more recent article giving us more information and furtherly shows he just had a little tantrum if anything, nothing with regards to hitting his mom or sister. We have all seen Family Matters, Home Improvement, Fresh Prince and Full House where at times kids yell at their parents so its no big deal. Now if he did hit them here are some clips that can prove why he hit his mother and sister.. Sorry for dude that posted this already but yours didnt get no love....hopefully mine does....Might I add hes one heck of an actor and Batman...

Product Review: Church Hill Classics Athletic Framing

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:50:17 -0500

When it comes to sports collectibles, I am not one to heavily marvel over an autograph from a superstar. Instead, I enjoy pictures of athletes and sports landscapes…they truly do tell a thousand words. There is nothing quite like getting that perfect picture, paying the money to get it nicely framed, and then throwing it up on your wall. With that thought in mind, the people over at Church Hill Classics have developed a new line of college frames that do the work of taking the excellent pictures for you. But the best part of the package is the custom frames that add extra flavor to your favorite University's display. At AthleticFrame.com, an individual looking for a great wall-piece or an athletic program interested in purchasing in volume will find three different types of frames. There is the Fanfare Sports Frame, Dynasty Sports Frame, and Legacy Sports Frame. The Fanfare Sports Frame is the most basic and least expensive, option. It is a 12?x14? frame with a black moulding and a small school logo below the main picture. The Dynasty Sports Frame (Dynasty = brilliant name choice!) is a large step up from the Fanfare. It is much cleaner looking, includes a brief history of the school, has a better quality logo, but has the same type moulding. It has slightly larger dimensions as well. My suggestion is to pay the extra money and go for the Legacy Sports Frame and choose the Encore mahogany moulding. At 17?x29? it is quite large and honestly, gorgeous. There are two information panels that may be customized with the school's athletic program history, summary of a winning season, season stats, fight song, etc. South CarolinaChurch Hill Classics was nice enough to send me two frames to review: the Fanfare Sports Frame and Legacy Sports Frame. If they were not so beautiful, I would probably burn them (I was sent one for South Carolina and Louisiana State University…two of UF's rivals). The Fanfare Sports Frame (pictured right) dons the crimson and black of South Carolina University. To be quite honest, I was not as blown away by this particular product as I was by the Legacy. The frame was of high quality, and is quite beautiful, but sitting next to the Legacy Sports Frame, it gets lost in the shuffle. Whatever is lacking in the Fanfare Sports Frame is made up, and then some, with AthleticFrame.com's Legacy Sports Frame. LSU frame Check out the LSU Legacy Sports Frame that I received in the mail (pictured left). Take a look at the gloss cherry finish and black accents that make the frame stand out in any setting. As previously noted, I am not an LSU fan, but I can assure you that this item will make a perfect gift to someone who is. Most NCAA football and basketball programs can be applied to the frame. I can only imagine how beautiful it would look in orange and blue. I also prefer the center image in the Legacy Sports Frame over that of the Fanfare, but those images are entirely customizable by the purchasing customer. Instead of a stadium, you have the option of inserting a player photo, game tickets, pieces of uniforms, etc. It truly is a gift that lasts forever. You can feel confident when purchasing from AthleticFrame.com. The website is a subsidiary of DiplomaFrame.com, which is the leading producer of diploma frames and has been in business for over seventeen years. Some reasons to purchase an athletic frame are, as a player gift, MVP gift, donor gift, coach award, sports banquet item, and stadium concession product. If you decide to purchase one, go ahead and take a picture of it and link to it in the comments section. If you are interested in having your product reviewed on this website, please contact us for further information.

Babe-A-Day! : Jessica Gomes, 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Gallery (Part 4 of 5)

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:06:14 -0500

Cherish your Jessica Gomes Experience. It's the next-to-last day of Jessica Gomes Week.

Most un-inspiring sports figures

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:52:11 -0500

Olympics: --- 25 Moments from its 112 year history --- Where were you when...

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:30:05 -0500

With about 2-weeks till the opening of the Olympic Games in China, we are being hit from all sides with ads, stories, and memories. In this Olympics there will be 7 networks carrying coverage, over 3000 hours of intensity. As the commercials keep running memorable moments of games past I have come up with a list of 25 memorable moments in Olympic history. There is inevitably a personal dimension to the list, but I have endeavored to be as objective as possible. This isn't just a list of the most stirring and rousing moments ~~~ or the most brilliant ~~~ but it also includes instances that have broken into our consciousness for other reasons, whether they be tragic, comic, epic or heroic. The Olympic performances and scandals capture and demand the world's attention and it goes without saying, the 2008 Beijing Games will burn many more new images in our collective memories. Memories like all the surprising gold medalists and inspirational athletes to the judging of each event and drug controversies stirring in our thoughts and how they taint the spirit of the Games but in the meantime, here is my list of the greatest moments of the last 112 years of the Olympic Games.

Man In Rhode Island Arrested With .491 BAC!

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:41:21 -0500

I know drunk driving is no laughing matter - but I have to think, this guys hangover is going to be worse then any punishment he could receive from the state. He was caught driving with the highest BAC ever recorded in the state on someone that is not dead. According to the health dept. .30 is classified as stupor, .40 is comatose, and .50 is considered fatal. Daaaaaannngg!!!

They Even Choke at Making Lists : 8 Underrated Chokers

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:29:13 -0500

In honor of the poster boy of choking, Greg Norman, leading the British Open after 3 rounds only to shoot a 77 and finishing in third, we wanted to bring you a list of choke artists. But here at Pyle of List we strive to set ourselves apart from the other bloggers out there (have you ever smelled some of those folks?). So instead of telling you about the choke jobs (stop snickering) you hear about every time someone squanders a chance at history (ie The Perfect Pats or the Yankees going up 3-0 in the 04 ALCS) we've decided to bring you the second rate chokers. These are the guys and teams in sports that couldn't achieve greatness, but couldn't implode enough to etch onto our collective sports memory either. Enjoy! The Detroit Lions on Draft Day No single entity has had more chances to shoot at the open net, to dunk a ball on a fast break, or hit a homer off a tee than the Detroit Lions on draft day. With a top-10 pick in all but 2 years since 2002, the Lions have hardly anything to show for it. Just to review: Joe-Joe Harrington #3 overall in 2002 (now a back-up in Atlanta), Charles Rogers #2 overall in 2003 (now out of league), Kevin Jones #30 overall in 2004 (cut this year), and Mike Williams #10 overall in 2005 (on his last chance with the Jags). Now, to be fair, the 02 draft sucked. But in 03 they took Rogers over Andre Johnson, Willis McGahee, Larry Johnson, and Troy Polamalu. Ted Williams Listen Mass-holes, the charade has gone on long enough. Ted Williams was a fantastic ballplayer and a once in a generation talent. But he was less clutch than a Greg Norman and Chris Everet lovechild raised by A-Rod. He only made it to one World Series and hit .200 in 25 at bats with 5 strikeouts. So if you're going to run A-Rod into the ground for his propensity to vanish in October, remember that The Splendid Splinter is his kindred spirit. John Carney On December 21, 2003 the New Orleans Saints were fighting for a chance to go to the playoffs. And we are talking about the Saints, here. Making the playoffs is huge for these fans and could have given the head coach at the time Jim Haslett some more room on an ever tightening noose. With 6 seconds to go the Saints were down 20-13 and 75 yards from pay dirt with no way to stop the clock. Then the second most unbelievable thing of the afternoon happened. The Saints offense did their best Stanford-Cal impression and scored the TD after 3 laterals. No flags. 20-19 with no time on the clock but an extra point attempt to go. John Carney walked on to the field and promptly….missed. Game over, season over….see you next year Saints fans. The Buffalo Bills of the early 1990's For the few Buffalo Bills fans out there (I actually know two, real, living, breathing, Bills fans) this was probably their best chance of ever winning a Super Bowl. I know they won the AFL Championship a couple times back in the 60's, but no one cares about that. With Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas they rolled through four straight AFC Championship games. But they never came through in the big game. They're best chance was their first chance, when they played the Giants in Super Bowl XXV. Wide right Bills fans. Wide right. I'm just glad I'm not a Bills fan. That's string of Super Bowl defeats has to be one of the biggest cock teases in professional sports history, right? Donavan Mcnabb Dare I say it, Terrell Owens may have been correct. Maybe McNabb wasn't good enough to win Super Bowl XXIX. Maybe he was too tired. I don't think it was exhaustion from being out of shape though. I think McNabb was under so much pressure to win the game for the city of Brotherly Love that his nerves just couldn't handle it. He was the face of that team. Philadelphians loved the guy. I think it would be interested to check birth records in and around the city to see how many boys were given the name Donovan from 2002 through 2005. Anyway, he was probably coming down of the adrenaline high from earlier in the game and his body couldn't handle it. His Willie Beamen spew moment would be well explained by a combination of nervous exhaustion and pressure to win the game. Sadly, the fine folks of Philadelphia had a talented quarterback who just couldn't come through when it counted, even when his team finally gave him supporting team members to get him over the hump. Barry Switzer in his first year with the Cowboys At a dinner party Jerry Jones confronted Jimmy Johnson, who had won the last two Super Bowls, and told him he could hire 500 coaches that could win the next Super Bowl with this team. The two parted way later in the same off-season and Jerry found coach 501. Barry Switzer took over the Cowboys and spent a season playing coach. In fact, according to Nate Newton the only time Barry ever even attempted to actually coach the team was in the NFC Championship game, which they lost to the 49ers 38-28. The 1994 Dallas Cowboys had the opportunity and ability to become the only team to win 3 straight Super Bowls. To this day Cowboys fans will often credit Jimmy Johnson with all three 90's Super Bowls…not because their uninformed, it's just too painful for them to admit that Switzer actually won one in 95. Randy Moss The star of 3 favored teams (2 seemingly unbeatable) that were upset in the Playoffs. In 1999 he led the awe-inspiring Viking offense through the NFL, like, well… Vikings. They pillaged opposing defenses and plundered the offensive awards for their brilliant season. But, when it mattered in the Playoffs he came up short. In 2001 he had a dreadful performance as Minnesota lost to the Giants 41-0. And we all know what happened in the most recent Super Bowl. When he's on the biggest stage, Randy Moss looks for his understudy. The reason: asphyxiation. 1995 Anahiem Angels Yeah, forgot about this one didn't you? Well I personally can't because my family is full of stupid Angels fans. My family has had a share in season tickets since the stadium opened, so they are all die-hards, with my mom in particular being very McClane-ian. I, however, loved Ken Griffey Jr. and the Mariners. And I wonder why she didn't love me…Anyways, on August 10th the Angels were up 11 games on the M's, and still up by 6 on September 13. A nine game losing streak (their second in as many months) left the Angels in a dead tie with the M's, necessitating a one game playoff. I remember sitting in my living room watching that game with my best friend Ethan and my parents, and when it was all over (the M's won 9-1, keeping the Angels from their first playoff birth in a decade) I got one 'Woo!' out before my mom threw a book at me and told me to go to my room. Somehow, people don't talk about this when teams collapse *cough*Mets*cough*.

This Has Nothing to Do With Sports....

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:20:38 -0500

But it is important that I get the word out. Have you heard of the website called SocialVibe.com? It's a great site that donates money to important causes around the world. However, the money doesn't get donated without users, like myself. What happens is people join the site, pick a cause to support, pick a sponsor to support them, and then they put a cool badge on their profile. Whenever someone views that profile, the person gets money donated to that cause!!! For example, here's my profile badge: I support education and Apple is my sponsor. The sponsor's are the one's who are actually donating the money, so it is completely free for the users too. I would love for you to join to help out a cause that you support. You can even pick the NBA as your sponsor!! http://www.socialvibe.com/?r=71425 Thanks!

RotoDestroyer For President!

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 10:07:22 -0500

Get into it!!! Apparently, this video won't embed, so you'd better just click on the link...

Update On Leland Hardy Interview

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 08:48:46 -0500

After a couple of commentators showed displeasure in my softness for not probing Leland about the contract he negotiated for Ricky Williams, I decided to reach back out to Mr. Hardy to see if we could follow up with a quick Q&A. Leland welcomed the opportunity and the result is now at the end of Interview With The Agent: Leland Hardy. Leland did not back away from the question, and provided a very lengthy, no-holds-barred response.

WePlay.com: A Youth Sports Community for Coaches, Parents, Kids and Teams

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:55:31 -0500

Weplay.com is a new online youth sports community that unites kids, parents, coaches, and professional athletes. Jake Rosenberg of YouCast Corporation informed me via email, "It's a great way to interact and network with people who share the same love for sports. Weplay also features exclusive footage and blogs from professional athletes such as Lebron James and Tony Parker." Currently, Brandi Chastain, Derek Jeter, Jennie Finch, LeBron James, Peyton Manning, Ryan Howard, Shaun Alexander, Summer Sanders and Tony Parker each have blogs at the site. I found out I have something in common with Brandi Chastain: her favorite video game is Galaga. She asks rhetorically if that 80's classic still exists and I am happy to report that in 2001 a 20th anniversary edition of it was released and you can find it in sports bars and other establishments that have video games--and if you can't find any place in your area that has Galaga you can play it online at Smilie Games. Looking through some of the other athlete blogs, Manning says that his dream job is "relief pitcher w/ a 100 mph fastball," Howard's favorite team of all-time is the 90's Bulls, Sanders' favorite teams are "Sacto Kings, Buffalo Bills and Team USA" and Tony Parker's favorite team is "San Antonio Spurs, of course."

Sexiest Beer Pong Match You Might Ever See

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 01:42:31 -0500

You might remember when we profiled the Port-O-Pong on the Deuce, if not maybe you should check that link and read our site more often. Anyway, the guys from Port-O-Pong have a video out demonstrating their product with a couple of very lovely women...in tight tops...then bikinis. Yes, it just might be the sexist Beer Pong video you have ever seen, despite the mostly lame commentary and obvious shilling for their product (MORE WOMEN, LESS TALK PLEASE) but who cares, I just want them to send me one so I can play...along with both those women. In any case, check it out, it's a little slow, but the slow motion jumping up and down might just be worth the price of admission...which is free.

The Top 10 Villains in Sports Today

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:14:38 -0500

What do you guys think? I'm sure I forgot some.

.491 BAC....God Damn...And Dudes Still ALive....

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:19:01 -0500

This dude is a clown and needs help. their are unfortunate people in the world who aint got squat and you got this dummy roaming Earth with half his body filled with alcohol..Really noble dude, really noble. If you were trying to commit suicide and failed, thats pathetic. Whoever fails at suicide is pretty dumb or maybe God wants you to punish even more for trying to take your life. I want to know what yall think of this doofus...on the level of Arnold in Batman Forever....by the way...check out my articles, I like self promoting.

D-Man's Top 30 rappers

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:10:32 -0500

My top 30 favorite rappers right now.

Marketing For A Sports Agent

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 19:59:12 -0500

Over at MarketingProfs.com (great website, by the way), there is an interesting thread titled, Marketing For a Sports Agent. The topic was started by a person who potentially may pick up a Sports Agent client and he/she wonders what advice should be given in terms of marketing strategy. I believe that the best response was given by Frank Hurtte, who says, I suggest a return to basics. 1) How do we make money? 2) Who are the best prospects for making money? 3) what do these people value? 4) where do they "live"? 5) how can we best get our message to them? 6) once they come to us how do we convert them to customers? It is always important to sell your company as a part of the individual or corporation that you are trying to reach. If you only care about sending out your company's message without fine tuning it towards your audience, then you probably won't have much luck no matter what profession you are in. And in today's day and age, if you want to compete with the best, I suggest learning a bit about online marketing through social networks and Web 2.0 opportunities.

Babe-A-Day! : Jessica Gomes, 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Gallery (Part 3 of 5)

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:02:17 -0500

Yet more Jessica Gomes! (Thanks to Sports Illustrated)

The SUDS of Summer -- Domestic & Import Style

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:20:34 -0500

It has been a pretty HOT summer and a few ICE COLD BEERS always seem to do the trick. If your not over 18, please refrain from drinking in these words. Now, for all those over 21, PLEASE READ RESPONSIBLY. We know that a lot of you BARKERS love beer too. Now, if it's imported or domestic, served in a can, bottle, keg or a German beer stein or frosted mug, we just can't get enough of that BARLEY POP. Now here's your opportunity to promote the YARDS favorite beers. What are you BARKERS drinking these days? My job requires me to be on the phone all day contacting and touching base with clients. So, over the past week, my last question was, "What are your favorite Beers?" and after nearly 500 votes, I came up with these results; on the TOP of this list are the top 21 Domestic Beers and on the Bottom are the top 21 Imports. The numbers after them are the number of votes they have so far. So now here's the YARDs chance to promote your favorite beers. You can vote by posting your five favorite beers, either domestic or imports. We will combine your favorites with our lists until, lets say, Saturday, August 9th, and then we'll cut both lists down to; THE YARDBARKERS TOP 10 DOMESTIC & IMPORT BREWS, FOR SPORTS FANS EVERYWHERE. Now remember, always read and drink responsibly... We'll start the YARD off with our favorites.

Honorable Mention: Things that Need to be Retired

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:01:56 -0500

Hey click through for the full article complete with pictures. Apparently, the little Knickerbocker that could, Nate Robinson, has had his Summer League jersey retired. Nope, I'm not kidding. "Koo Koo Cachoo Mr." Robinson was quite proud of this accomplishment (as he should be?). However, this got me thinking. What other overlooked articles of sports memorabilia deserve to be enshrined in some sort of island-of-unwanted-toys hall of fame? In no particular order: -Brett Favre's Kleenex box All that belly-achin' this offspring sure can take it out of a fella. This one isn't exactly "overlooked" in the traditional sense--since it can be seen Favre can be seen 24 hours a day on any major news channel-- but nevertheless it deserves a mention. Hats off to you, you sniffling bumpkin! -Steve McNair's ankle This one might not qualify since no one is sure if Steve McNair's ankle still exists. Although this one might not be possible, all available avenues are being looked into to ensure that this, the most injured joint in the history of the NFL, takes its rightful place in history. -The Back of Anderson Varejao's Jersey The back of Anderson Varejao's jersey is the unsung hero of the Cleveland Cavaliers. While Lebron is hitting jumpers and driving the lane, the back of Anderson Varejao's jersey is doing the dirty work. With all the flops that Varejao commits on a nightly basis it is a wonder that you can even see his number. (note: there is no reason whatsoever for the front of AV's jersey to be enshrined) -Aaron Rodgers Hit List It is debatable whether or not a piece of paper with one name on it is considered a list. However, this piece of history has to be bronzed. -Darko Milicic's pre-draft workout video Whatever this young man did to impress Detroit must have been absolutely magical. This draft mistake was concealed by the fact that Detroit went on to win the NBA title that year but regardless, this may be the only draft pick in history that single-handedly stopped a team from winning three back-to-back-to-back championships. -Michael Vick's Kennel Uh...Uh I mean I love dogs! Please no one show this to PETA! -Kyle Orton's Shot glass ...who am I kidding shot glasses are for pussies. Well, this list could go on and on. If you can think of a few leave it in the comments.

Batman Bale Busted. Arrested for Assualt.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:58:55 -0500

Fox News is reporting "The Dark Knight" actor Christian Bale was arrested on Tuesday for allegedly assaulting his mother and sister, according to British media reports. Earlier Tuesday, the Welsh-born actor was in custody at a central London police station being questioned by officers over the incident, said to have taken place in his hotel suite. "A 34-year-old man attended a Central London police station this morning and was arrested in connection with an allegation of assault," a police spokeswoman said, according to the Times of London.

Alycia Lane's co-anchor officially charged

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:57:09 -0500

Punching the fake tan off former major leaguers, slapping cops, hijacking emails...you can't argue Philly has some interesting news personalities. Rich Eisen pursuer Alycia Lane's co-anchor Larry Mendte has been officially charged with hacking into her email.

Interview With The Agent: Leland Hardy

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 08:37:08 -0500

Leland Hardy is far from your typical sports agent. In fact, I had never heard of the extremely impressive innovator and scholar until the gentleman who set me up with B.J. Armstrong for his interview connected Leland and myself for an hour of insightful conversation. Scratch that. I had actually heard of Leland Hardy for one reason: he was associated with Master P's attempt to enter into the sports agent profession with his creation of No Limit Sports. Many people associate Leland's name with Master P's failed attempt in starting a successful sports agency, but the little media coverage of Mr. Hardy has made us all ignorant of the amazing feats that Leland has already accomplished and looks to achieve in the future. It was probably my toughest interview to this date. Not only was Leland in the midst of recovering his computer from a virus, but I was going through the exact same drama. We are all lucky that my computer was able to save the transcript, and without furthur adieu, here is my interview with entrepreneur extraordinaire, Leland Hardy.

Got The Job, Now Make Me Exec!

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:27:46 -0500

Getting yourself a sports business job is quite a challenge in itself, but what if you are not complacent with just breaking into the industry? You want to be an executive of a major sports franchise and will do whatever it takes to get that coveted job. Your best shot at landing the executive position is to be related by blood or marriage to a major stakeholder in the ownership group, but what if you are not so fortunate? Bill King of SportsBusinessJournal looked at the breakdown by percentage of ways that people are able to become executives: Those who worked their way up at a franchise (36 percent) Those who were hired to run a team based on a prior business relationship with the owner (11 percent) Those who came in from outside of team sports, often through the work of a search firm (9 percent) Those who were brought in from a league office (7 percent) General managers who took on the additional title, sometimes with added responsibilities but sometimes without (12 percent) Former players who got the job primarily because of that connection (3 percent) Family members (16 percent) This actually paints not such a bleak picture. You really do not have to be a family member to get the prized executive position (although it certainly does help). SportsBusinessJournal has a long article on this subject with personal stories from many high ranking officials of large franchises. I suggest you read it, if this topic interests you.

ESPN handed out breathalyzers at the ESPY's

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 16:18:09 -0500

AOLFanhouse has a post today with a headline: "Why did ESPN hand out breathalyzers at the ESPY's?". Well, for starters, there have been plenty of celebrities busted for DUI's and they are known to imbibe quite frequently when they go out. So I'm not sure what the big fuss is, it's probably a good thing because it will make these guys more attentive to the dangers that driving drunk present to everyone.

Babe-A-Day! : Jessica Gomes, 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Gallery (Part 2 of 5)

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:58:18 -0500

Jessica Gomes Week on THE CAVEMAN NETWORK continues, courtesy of Sports Illustrated!

Dynasty Entertainment Signs Its Fifth Model

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:26:01 -0500

And the beauty of it all is that we have been fielding tons of really great job requests for our model clients. More info on those jobs will be coming in the future. Anyway, we are very excited to announce our fifth signed model client. Her name is Toshi'a Natal and she resides in New York, NY. If you want to find out more information about her, go to http://www.dynastyreps.com/entertainment. Click on the last picture on the page.

Melyssa Ford, Ebony Answer to Paola Corvea

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:52:09 -0500

Just like Paola Corvea, Sex Advisor for Maxim en espanol, Melyssa Ford is a sex-pert for Smooth Magazine as "Jessica Rabbit". She has also been seen showing off her moneymaker in hip hop videos for Jay-Z, Ghostface Killah and Mystikal!

A Profile In Courage...Midget Bullfighting

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:26:22 -0500

Author Livia Corona spent almost a decade (!!!) living in a dwarf colony of bullfighting enthused little people.. and now she's releasing a book about it.

LIST: NFL All-Century Team

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:59:56 -0500

Paul Zimmerman wrote the story below. I saw his list and wondered if I would change any of his choices today with all the rule changes and players getting bigger, stronger and faster. Now I know this article is dated, but even today, I'd find it very hard to put together a team and try doing it without using any of his players and coming up with a team of my own that would beat his team more than not...Can you? My all time NFL team isn't designed to take the field; it's merely a compilation of my choices for the finest players at each position. There are multiple listings at some positions because I simply couldn't choose between players or because different eras demanded completely different skills. Why the odd number of roster spots, 41? Well, I had a good round number -- 40 -- but then I remembered I'd left off the greatest wedge buster I've ever seen, 254-pound tackle Henry Schmidt. If this team were designed to take the field, I'd send my 41 guys out against your 53 and take my chances. To make my selections, I used a roomful of game programs and play-by-play charts, the by-product of 56 years of grading and annotating player performances. How many games? I'd estimate close to 2,000. By way of the magic of two satellite-dish outlets and three VCRs, all dutifully pulling their weight on Sunday afternoons, I've seen well over 100 games in their entirety in each of the last five years or so. You want to know how Cleveland's Chuck Noll did against the Giants' Bill Albright? Leo Nomellini of the 49ers against the Packers' trapping guards? It's all in the charts. OFFENSIVE BACKFIELD You can't select one quarterback to span all eras. In 1978, the year before Joe Montana came into the league, the rules were changed to open up the passing game. Receivers couldn't be bumped once they got five yards downfield, and offensive holding rules were liberalized. Montana, perfectly suited to Bill Walsh's offense, is my top quarterback of the last 20 years. John Unitas, playing in his relentless, teeth-gritting style, under the old rules (which made things tougher on quarterbacks), is my No. 1 of the pre-'78 days. Running back was the toughest position to narrow down. Jim Brown was the perfect combination of grace, power and speed. He rewrote all NFL rushing records. Hugh McElhenny, the King, could turn a short pass into a crazy-legged, broken-field adventure. My pure fullback? Marion Motley was a rumbling force and the finest pass-blocking back I've ever seen. But on fourth-and-short there's no player I'd rather give the ball to than Earl Campbell. QUARTERBACK Pre-1978 rules: John Unitas (Colts, Chargers) 1956-73 Post-1978 rules: Joe Montana (49ers, Chiefs) 1979-94 RUNNING BACK Tailback: Jim Brown (Browns) 1957-65 Third down: Hugh McElhenny (49ers, Vikings, Giants, Lions) 1952-64 Fullback: Marion Motley (Browns, Steelers) 1946-55 Short yardage: Earl Campbell (Oilers, Saints) 1978-85 RECEIVERS The only player on my squad that I never saw play in the flesh was Don Hutson. So I spent two days in the Packers' film room. I'd never forgotten a story told to me by a Green Bay fan who swore he saw Hutson snatch a ball with one hand -- with the palm turned down. I never saw that play in the films, but what I did see was remarkable enough to make sure he got on this team. Hutson had speed and the same hunger for the long ball that Lance Alworth, my other deep receiver, had, plus the precision timing of my possession wideout, Raymond Berry, plus the toughness of my all-around performer, Jerry Rice. Dave Casper was a converted tackle who blocked like one. No tight end fought off as much traffic to catch the ball. WIDE RECEIVER Deep: Lance Alworth (Chargers, Cowboys) 1962-72 Deep: Don Hutson (Packers) 1935-45 Possession: Raymond Berry (Colts) 1955-67 All-around: Jerry Rice (49ers) 1985-present TIGHT END Dave Casper (Raiders, Oilers, Vikings) 1974-84 TRENCHES Art Shell, John Hannah and Jim Parker were the ultimate power linemen. Forrest Gregg and Ron Mix were the first of the light-footed pass blockers. Dwight Stephenson was pure lightning. Defensively, Reggie White combined power at the point with a relentless pass rush. Deacon Jones and Rich Jackson, whose career was cut short by injury, were also nonstop pass rushers and were sturdy against the run. I couldn't break the tie among Joe Greene, Bob Lilly and Merlin Olsen. Greene combined great quickness with power, and Lilly was the most technically sound. Olsen was the greatest bull-rush tackle ever. OFFENSIVE TACKLE Power: Art Shell (Raiders) 1968-82 Speed: Forrest Gregg (Packers, Cowboys) 1956, '58-71 Speed: Ron Mix (Chargers, Raiders) 1960-69, '71 OFFENSIVE GUARD John Hannah (Patriots) 1973-85 Jim Parker (Colts) 1957-67 CENTER Dwight Stephenson (Dolphins) 1980-87 DEFENSIVE END Power: Reggie White (Eagles, Packers) 1985-98 Rush: Deacon Jones (Rams, Chargers, Redskins) 1961-74 Rush: Rich Jackson (Raiders, Broncos, Browns) 1966-72 DEFENSIVE TACKLE Power: Merlin Olsen (Rams) 1962-76 Speed: Joe Greene (Steelers) 1969-81 All-around: Bob Lilly (Cowboys) 1961-74 LINEBACKERS No outside 'backer manhandled tight ends the way Dave Wilcox did; he was impossible for a tight end to hook. Jack Ham, blessed with phenomenal instincts, was the finest in coverage. You can't compare Ham with Lawrence Taylor, though, who had almost no cover responsibilities but created a new position -- the rush linebacker. Ted Hendricks? An all-around star. In the middle, Dick Butkus and Willie Lanier were run stuffers supreme and better in coverage than they got credit for. OUTSIDE LINEBACKER Strongside: Dave Wilcox (49ers) 1964-74 Weakside: Jack Ham (Steelers) 1971-82 Rush: Lawrence Taylor (Giants) 1981-93 All-around: Ted Hendricks (Colts, Packers, Raiders) 1969-83 MIDDLE LINEBACKER Dick Butkus (Bears) 1965-73 Willie Lanier (Chiefs) 1967-77 SECONDARY Willie Brown and Dick (Night Train) Lane were masters of the smothering, bump-and-run style, physical corners who liked to rough up receivers. Jimmy Johnson and Deion Sanders will be remembered as pure downfield cover guys, so feared that they often went entire games without being tested deep. Free safety also encompasses yet another set of techniques. Willie Wood was a narrow choice over the Cardinals' Larry Wilson as a deep patroller with tremendous instincts. Cliff Harris is my other choice because of his killer style. "An obstructionist," Raiders owner Al Davis calls this type of player. At strong safety Ken Houston had the perfect combination of range and hitting ability, and he was uncanny at sniffing out the run. CORNERBACK Open-field: Jimmy Johnson (49ers) 1961-76 Open-field: Deion Sanders (Falcons, 49ers, Cowboys) 1989-present Bump-and-run: Dick (Night Train) Lane (Rams, Cardinals, Lions) 1952-65 Bump-and-run: Willie Brown (Broncos, Raiders)1963-78 SAFETY Strong safety: Ken Houston (Oilers, Redskins) 1967-80 Free safety: Cliff Harris (Cowboys) 1970-79 Free safety: Willie Wood (Packers) 1960-71 SPECIALISTS Kicker: Morten Andersen (Saints, Falcons) 1982-present Punter: Tommy Davis (49ers) 1959-69 Kick returner: Gale Sayers (Bears) 1965-71 Punt returner: Darrien Gordon (Chargers, Broncos, Raiders) 1993-present Wedge buster: Henry Schmidt (49ers, Chargers, Bills, Jets) 1959-66 COACHES The Packers were in a state of collapse before Vince Lombardi arrived in 1959, and their fortunes plummeted after he left in 1969. He was famous for his motivational ploys, but let's not forget his innovations: the run-to-daylight approach, going deep on third-and-short. A terrific football mind lurked behind the emotional fireworks. Bill Walsh is my offensive coordinator. His passing attack changed the game in the modern era. As for a defensive coordinator, Bud Carson's cerebral style produced the most dominating defense I've ever seen: the Steelers' from 1972 through '77.

Haikus for the Patriots Cheerleader Tryouts

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 11:23:34 -0500

What better way to describe such a great event than with haikus.