http://www.yardbarker.com/users/Dewey Recent Yardbarker Articles: Dewey en-us I'll see the Yard in a few weeks. I'm sure within 24 hours I'll be going through major Yardbarker withdrawal. When I get back (July 15) in the Yard, I'll be refreshed and ready to go extra hard for the Yard. Stay solid. Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:27:37 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/285321 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/285321 What's up to the Yard. There is a promotion where you can follow Wimbledon online for free. Normally it's $25, but it's free to the first 125 emailers (wimbledonlivefree@gmail.com). Just email that address and tell 'em you want the free pass. Enjoy. Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:33:19 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/285155 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/285155 This story is a lesson in life: Give five dollars to whomever asks for it. So... gimme five bucks. You might be missing out on the next huge enterprise. Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:47:08 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/285055 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/285055 Derrick's day in court will be my first day back from my vacation, which begins Wednesday night. I'm going to Chestertown, Maryland, where I'll be doing things that don't involve the Internet: eating crabs, reading books, kayaking, maybe drinking some cheap domestic beer, perhaps drinking a few more cheap domestic beers, maybe kayaking again. Wait, nevermind. I don't want to get a KWI. Chew on that, Cedric Benson. You're dead to me until you get until in trouble for kayaking while intoxicated. Be original or be nothing. Just kidding, kids. Don't drink and do anything (except hit on women, watch football, and eat nachos). Martin probably has a great lawyer, and therefore won't be sweating the charges, which makes me wonder: Which one of us is dreading July 15 more? Myself or Derrick Martin? Smart money says Derrick Martin. Then again, smart money doesn't care one way or the other. Smart money is busy buying cheap domestic beer and nachos. Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:21:05 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/284484 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/284484 Chris Johnson. The fastest man in the NFL. Stupid fast. Way too solid. Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:45:15 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/284417 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/284417 Joey Chestnut, king of hot dogs (and pretty much anything edible). Hooters girls, queens of [fill in the blank]. Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:41:01 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/284412 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/284412 Baltimore Ravens CB Derrick Martin recently got himself into a bit of hot water, at Hopkins International Airport in Cleveland, for possessing three bags of the greenery, one each for his three seasons with the Ravens. Martin played in all 16 games last year, starting three of them. He attended college at the University of Wyoming; he is 5'10"/220 pounds; he enjoys long walks on the beach (preferably in Jamaica), and his favorite color is... I don't know, green maybe? Cornerbacks need speed and great reaction time, both of which are enhanced by smoking weed. Right? No? What's that, you say? Marijuana slows you down? Really? Someone should let Derrick know. I'm sure he had only the best of intentions, and that he was thinking of his coaches and teammates when he made the decision to do what he did. Martin faces a $100 fine. Mon, 30 Jun 2008 14:58:43 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/284276 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/284276 Baltimore is training a live bird to serve as a team mascot. I bet PETA hates this sort of thing. Hopefully they complain loudly. Not because I don't like the prospect of having a real, live African white-naped raven flying around the stadium, but because PETA never raises much of a fuss unless the quote-unquote offender is a high-profile target, and unless the Ravens win a bunch of games this year, that won't be the case. From Ken Murray at the Baltimore Sun: "If all goes as planned, at least one of the birds will make an appearance at the team's Westminster training camp next month. And at least one will fly out of a smoky tunnel at M&T Bank Stadium ahead of the players when the Ravens face the Cincinnati Bengals on Sept. 7, and at every home game thereafter. The season opener will mark not just the dawning of the John Harbaugh coaching era, but a new Baltimore tradition." Sun, 29 Jun 2008 10:20:41 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/283801 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/283801 Sunday is the UEFA Euro 2008 championship match, featuring Spain versus Germany (2:45 ET). The Germans will most likely be without their captain, Michael Ballack, because of a right-calf injury; Tim Borowski or Bastian Scheinsteiger would be his replacement. Germany is gunning for its fourth Euro Cup title, and Spain looks to end a 44-year drought. The Spaniards haven't even been to the final since 1984, when they lost to the French, 2-0. My money is on Spain, but then again, I don't know nearly as much about soccer as I do about women. And for that, my money is on Portugal. All images licensed from Getty Images. Sat, 28 Jun 2008 15:50:04 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/283624 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/283624 Adam won the YBN contest, and he partied with us at the Mansion. Nice recap by him. Thanks for hanging out with us, Adam. Fri, 27 Jun 2008 12:18:02 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/282986 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/282986 Brian Roberts, 3 for 5. Super Sherrill gets the save. The O's are unblastable. Two more for the sweep. Wed, 25 Jun 2008 06:58:53 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/282120 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/282120 Here on the west coast, it's bright, early and nearly time to head to the Playboy Mansion. You can follow the Yard's presence at the Mansion via the link below. We'll be shooting some video and photos tonight, and we'll do our best to get it up on the page ASAP. Add "YB_BunnyTime" as a friend, and get notified via your News Feed whenever we post new content. You know the drill. Hit up the link. Wed, 25 Jun 2008 06:47:26 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/282118 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/282118 Ecstasy. Coke. Alabama LB Jimmy Johns sold it all. "Undercover officers purchased cocaine from Johns five times in the last 1 1/2 weeks, Snyder said, and they arrested him at a gas station near his off-campus apartment, where he lived alone." Nick Saban's squad gets even thinner at linebacker. Sounds like Johns was openly selling the drugs; however, he did make an effort to keep it from his teammates (but not, apparently, the police). Straight to jail, buddy. Do not collect $200. Do not pass Go. Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:03:53 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/281781 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/281781 An old-school throwback in the Yard. This was made a year or two ago. More fun than magic tricks. Mon, 23 Jun 2008 19:04:48 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/281458 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/281458 Shaq embarrasses himself on the mic. He raps about his vasectomy, blames Kobe for his ruined marriage, and then he repeatedly asks Kobe to tell him how his ass tastes. Honestly, you can't make this stuff up. So just watch the video for yourself. Sorry, I couldn't embed it. You'll have to head over to TMZ via the link below. PS: Give up the Kobe-hating, Shaq. You once were the man, but it's Kobe's show now. You were surrounded with far more talent in Phoenix, but you couldn't even get out of the first round. Kobe could probably out-rap you, too. Hell, I could out-rap you. You're a disaster. Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:11:49 -0500 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/281328 http://www.yardbarker.com/author/article/281328