Check please. This guy looks like he should think of a new career.

Tommy Lasorda better get ready to assume the position pictured above. If San Francisco County Supervisor Michela Alioto-Pier gets her way, Lasorda will be bounced out of his position as Grand Marshal of the San Francisco Italian-American Parade.

Alioto-Pier wants a "local Italian-American" like Joe Montana or Barry Zito to have the honor of leading the parade.

The spawn of the A-Team's Dirk Benedict is running loose in England. Shady land grabbers beware.

Roland Benedict, son of Dirk, is on trial with English League Two outfit Gillingham. The Daily Mail claims that "the six-footer made a name for himself on the college basketball circuit last year." That would be pretty sweet if it were true. Too bad it's not.

It's unbelievable that Ozzie Guillen would come this far only to let evil win now. Of course, we're talking about the evil that is Jay Mariotti. The terrorists will win if Guillen follows through on his threat to leave town.

Guillen will exile himself from Bartertown otherwise known as Chicago if the White Sox don't make the playoffs.

This is hardcore sprinting on this Japanese gameshow. The guy has to run right through like 50 fluorescent bulbs and does so without flinching. Its certainly impressive to watch, especially in slow motion and boy is it a good thing he's wearing those goggles, not like those bulbs don't each contain a tiny amount of the neurotoxin mercury that he is breathing in while blasting through them or anything. Way to go smartguy!

Larry Brown has already started to take digs at the Bobcats roster and the guys who gave it to him, Michael Jordan and Rod Higgins.

"I'm concerned about who's going to be our third point guard. I'm concerned if we have a small forward that can guard," Brown said. "I'm concerned if we can find a power forward that can play..."

"When I got the job I told Michael and (GM) Rod (Higgins) that we needed three point guards that could bring the ball up against the press, one of them with size. We needed two small forwards that could defend. And we needed five big guys and try to make them as athletic as possible," Brown said.

So how does this roster mesh with what he wanted?

"I don't know if it does," Brown said. "We'll just have to wait and see how it plays out."

Yes, its true, Larry Brown has already thrown his bosses under a bus and training camps are barely starting.

Deer Camp, a musical comedy about hunting, debuted last Wednesday at the Lowry Theatre in St. Paul...wait, let me say that again, a musical comedy?? Oh those wacky Minnesotans. Now that I think about it, I can't think of anything that brings to mind musical comedy more than 4 men in the woods, in a cabin, on a cold autumn weekend with their guns. Yeah, ok

We all remember this Fanhouse post featuring Hollis Thomas wearing this scary crazy Spongebob getup at some sort of event. No one was really sure what New Orleans Saints LB Hollis Thomas was thinking wearing that ensemble but apparently this outfit has something to do with Hollis having an irrational obsession with all things SpongeBob Square Pants.

We're giving you the 5 best movies out there that created their own sports. These movies, as cheesy as they are, at least tried to buck the trend of traditional sports movie making by creating a world of their own where the only rules that are followed are the ones they make up.

Now that baseball has proven that they can adapt to the modern times by adopting Instant Replay, we at the Deuce think it's time for the great American past time to take a few more steps to becoming a modern day sporting bonanza. Here's a few other ways that we think Major League Baseball can take steps towards modernizing the game for the 2000s.

Broderick Bunkley's house was robbed while he was away at a preseason game in Pittsburgh. He came home to find his house "ransacked". In addition to several gaming system, he had legal handguns and rifles stolen.

"Neighbors said Bunkley has always had a security system, and that he's very friendly and polite..."

They also said he's clean. What the hell does friendly and polite have to do with being robbed while you're away?

You might've seen that Nike commercial during the Olympics coverage that features Marvin Gaye singing the National Anthem. Its a pretty neat commercial if you have seen it, and if not go ahead and check the link. If you wanted to see the full version of Marvin singing the Star Spangled Banner though without the basketball players doing their thing though here it is in all its soul-icious glory. That Marvin is one baaaaaaaaad man.

What is lost in the media's coverage is not the impact that this is having on the team, SJax's career, or his agent's ability to land any more clients if this holdout doesnt work, no, what is lost in this coverage is the impact that this is having on fantasy football players everywhere.

Tiki Barber is really doing some innovative things with his gig at NBC. Watch the former all pro footballer suck up a lot of pride and allow himself to be picked up and carried over the shoulder of Rulon Gardner, the giant Olympic wrestling gold medalist, while covering the Olympics over in Beijing. If you look carefully you can actually see some of his pride and ego escaping him. He knows he's a hack.

This is a concept that I cannot believe Vince McMahon has not used in a match yet. Invisible man vs. actual wrestler. Its Zhao Yun Zilong vs. the invisible Misutero...basically he's wrestling himself. Just brilliant.