Imus is at it again, and it's not that he's racist...it's just that we don't get his subtle, biting satire.

Let it be stated for the record: Gonzoball loves Willie Randolph. For a while at least, he even made it hard to root against the Mets. For a kid growing up a Yankee fan in the dull and ringless 80s, Willie was a classy mainstay, and along with Ron Guidry, the only links to Championship teams of the late 70s.

But after presiding over the greatest late season collapse in baseball history, and following that up with the same kind of uninspired play in 2008, Willie's job is not secure. And he's playing the race card. Worse, he's comparing himself to Isiah Thomas and Herm Edwards.

From Ian O'Connor's column:

"Is it racial?" Randolph asked. "Huh? It smells a little bit."

Asked directly if he believes black managers are held to different standards than their white counterparts, Randolph said: "I don't know how to put my finger on it, but I think there's something there. Herman Edwards did pretty well here and he won a couple of playoff [games], and they were pretty hard on Herm. Isiah Thomas didn't do a great job, but they beat up Isiah pretty good. ... I don't know if people are used to a certain figurehead. There's something weird about it.

I don't know what the appropriate analogy is here: apples, oranges, and dogshit, maybe?

Herm Edwards didn't get run out of town on a racial rail, he coached the Jets for 5 seasons, more than any other Jets coach since Joe Walton (oy). In those 5 seasons, he took the team to the playoffs 3 times, but never made it past the 2nd round, and seemed to be oblivious to the concept of clock management. Then, in his final season, the team finished 4-12. Then, HE LEFT by breaking a contract, negotiating with another team during the playoffs, and abandoning his players.

Isiah, as you might expect, is dogshit. No racial overtones needed to form a negative opinion on his character or coaching/GM abilities.

As far as Willie is concerned, he's beleaguered, and probably suspects the end is near. But New York doesn't see the color of the manager's skin in the standings. It just sees a winning percentage of under .500.

The Yankees season opener against the Toronto Blue Jays was postponed due to inclement weather today. This despite the fact that it never did more than drizzle in the South Bronx, and for the last 45 minutes prior to the game being called at 2:30PM, it was not raining AT ALL.

I have nothing more to add, I'm so disgusted.

I was always skeptical of the criticism of the Yankees under Joe Torre that they lacked fire. Derek Jeter never seemed to need any extra motivation to play balls out. Ditto Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera or even Johnny Damon and Joba Chamberlain.

But one criticism I did agree with was that Joe Torre's sense of "gentlemanly" play was leaving the team vulnerable to its rivals. Now, under Joe Girardi, that doesn't seem to be a problem, as Shelley Duncan's take-out slide into second proved today.

Keep bringing that fire boys! And those bruising forearms, Shelley!

Could the Broadway Blues have a historic date in the Bronx?

In today's issue of "Nothing is Sacred," the Tribune Company has stated that they "won't hesitate" to sell the rights to rename iconic Wrigley Field.

You don't need to be a purist to find this outrageous, but there's a bit of irony in such outrage, as Wrigley was the name of the club's original corporate overseers.

My feelings about the current commissioner of baseball are well-documented. He's self-serving, an awful liar, and he seems to hate the game but sticks with the business because he and his friends are making billions on it. And speaking of said friends, he's always looked out for them. Rather, he's allowed guys like Jerry Colangelo, Carl Pohland and John Henry to grease his wheels with sweetheart loans to facilitate Bud's making decisions "in the interests of baseball."

I had read in several publications that The Selig had allowed Jeffrey Loria to abandon his failing Montreal Expos business, in order to buy the Florida Marlins from John Henry, who in turn would buy the Boston Red Sox, even though Henry was far and away NOT the high bidder for the highly valued Red Sox organization. Cynical and beaten fan I am, I accepted it as business as usual and looked forward to the paranoid rants of Larry Lucchino.

Then, I came across the attached article about the Tribune Company and the possibility that they may sell the Chicago Cubs and Wrigley Field separately. Mark Cuban has repeatedly stated that he'd blow anyone else out of the water with his bid for the Cubs, but Bud doesn't like such extravagance. He appears to partial to allowing one of his good ole' boys from their days as co-owners of the Milwaukee Brewers to buy the Cubbies.

Again, I shrug and chalk that up to business as usual with The Selig. The last thing a beloved but stagnant organization like the Cubs needs is another miserly used car salesman. An obnoxious, but bold and competitive guy like Cuban would be an inspired choice. But it won't happen, and you can thank Bud.

Now comes the kicker, and I have no idea how I missed this. The high bidder in 2002 for the Boston Red Sox?

JAMES. FUCKING. DOLAN.

The guy who brought you Isiah. The guy who made MSG go dark for a decade. That guy almost owned the Red Sox.

As a Yankee fan, my disappointment that this deal was blocked knows no end. However, I can say I'm impressed: maybe Bud doesn't hate the game after all. Despite his favoritism and lack of anything faintly resembling ethics, he kept Jim Dolan from working his magic on a storied franchise.

Humbug.

The upcoming Summer Olympics in Beijing have been dubbed "the genocide Olympics" because of the Communist Chinese government's financial backing of the Sudanese government perpetuating the genocide in Darfur.

This is bound to be a heavily censored, propaganda-heavy monstrosity designed to soft-sell the brutality and repression of the Chinese government, and introduce China to the world as the new financial superpower of the East.

The British government appears ready to enable the Chinese regime, forbidding their athletes from any "politically sensitive remarks or gestures." While the threat of pasty Brits throwing up a single fist black power salute is a hilarious proposition, it appears that the British "stiff upper lip" has sadly evolved into the quivering mushy middle.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/olympics/wires/02/10/2090.ap.oly.beijing.b ritish.athletes.0335/index.html

Now, the Brits are backtracking, saying they have no intention of muzzling their athletes.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/olympics/wires/02/11/2090.ap.oly.beijing.b ritish.athletes.0387/index.html

There's nothing in the Yardbarker bylaws that says columnists can't perform random acts of self-promotion, so here's mine: When I'm not ranting about Bud Selig or Bill Belichick, I'm a filmmaker. This week, my short film BED HEAD is the featured film on Myspace Film's homepage. You can see the film here:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=27853866

You DO NOT need a Myspace account to watch the film, but you will need one to vote for it.

Please support Gonzoball and BED HEAD by passing the link to film lovers everywhere, and thanks for your support.

Today, I was panning to share in the joy of my New York football older cousins, the fanatic devotees of Big Blue, by attending the parade in Canyon of Heroes. I was too young to ditch school and head to the city to celebrate the New York Rangers Stanley Cup Championship of 1994, have no excuse for not ditching school in 1996 for the Yankees first of the 90s dynasty championships, celebrated the next three by my lonesome a

block away from Fenway Park, and dagnabbit, since I've come back to New York, there hasn't even been an Arena Football League banner to be raised.

In fact, I moved back to New York weeks before 9/11/01. And the effects of that terrible day were felt in strange ways today, as I tried to tag-along for a victory parade.

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v199/libertysoul/?action=view¤t=IMG_0136 .jpg

From the POV of the photo above, I have just departed the PATH train at the World Trade Center site. Yes, every day working commuters arrive by train, and when the light of day hits, they are greeted by the walls and bearings, the very footprints of the towers, of Ground Zero.

As I rode the hundred-foot escalators out of the station, I was joined by thousands of Giants fans, all of whom were extremely well behaved (no, no ritualized chanting of 'Boston Sucks!'), many of whom came with children, and all of whom would be sorely disappointed in a matter of moments.

This is where our party began and ended, at Fulton St., which we were told by the press releases in the city's papers was one of four designated thru streets to take to Broadway and City Hall, to actually SEE the parade and victory rally.

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v199/libertysoul/?action=view¤t=IMG_0137 .jpg

And this is the view I had of passing floats:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v199/libertysoul/?action=view¤t=IMG_0139 .jpg

Can't see anything? We couldn't either. So I bailed. After all, I'm not a professional journalist, just an aspiring Doctor of Journalism. If it was the Jets, I would have probably camped out at 5AM to catch the parade, but as it stood, my one week of bandwagoning had come to end. After all, Belichick is humbled. It's time to move on.

On my way back to the PATH, it occurred to me: there's still no plan.

We knew after the Blackout of 2003 that there was no plan to evacuate the island of Manhattan in case of calamity, and apparently, 6 1/2 years after the day, there is still plan to throw a ticker tape parade downtown. And no real plan for a proper memorial. And no real plan to build something.

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v199/libertysoul/?action=view¤t=IMG_0142 .jpg

Bill Belichick, who's erstwhile perfect New England Patriots* were one second away from completing arguably the greatest Super Bowl choke of all time, ran off the field rather than wait for time to run out to concede defeat gracefully.

Which allows me the perfect segue for my Belichick haiku, copyrighted two years before I copyrighted: New England Patriots, 18-1*.

The haiku is as follows:

Win, lose, Belichick

is a small and petty man.

Small and petty man.

Football season ends today, and by tonight, Bill (Nixon '72) Belichick and the New England Patriots* will either be 4-time Super Bowl champs or a humorous footnote in NFL history.

So, in the interest of piling on the sour grapes, here's a rare profile questioning Nixo-- er, Belichick's supposed genius.

Money quote from a Cleveland Browns executive who worked with Belichick during his disastrous tenure there:

"I would love to know what happened in that household to produce a human being like that."

Jet Moynihan, bastard love child of Tom Brady and Bridget Moynihan, offers a subtle one-finger salute to dear ole' deadbeat dad on the eve of the Super Bowl.

John McCain (R-AZ), the "straight talking" Presidential candidate, and always a model of consistency, has accepted the endorsement of admitted HGH user Sylvester Stallone. And in about a week, he will bust serious Congressional balls in a Senate committee hearing about the HGH use of baseball players.

Someone tell me again why this guy's got a reputation for telling it like it is?

The Selig, (Worst...Commisioner...Ever) has gone back on his word (natch) that he would mercifully retire after the 2009 season, making way for the next puppet of the owners to be crowned. We will now endure The Selig until at least 2012, when he says "there is no doubt" in his mind he will retire. He's said that before, but the game simply needs him.

"Look, when this is over, I'm going to be 78 years old, Selig says, channeling Hyman Roth from Godfather II, but he thinks he's going to live forever, and he's convinced the game needs him. After all, if The Selig were to ride off in the sunset, who could possibly fill his seat to oversee:

-The cancellation of the 1994 World Series

-The bastardization of every significant career and single season record due to the Steriods Era

- The "Luxury Tax," which allows billionaire owners to plead poverty, take money from the fans of the Yankees (and to an extent, The Boston Red Sox) and line the pockets of said miserly owners, without requiring them to spend the funds on team payroll.

-The 2002 All-Star Game ending in a tie, which was followed-up with the ridiculous gimmick of having home field-advantage in the World Series hinging on the perennially dull exhibition's outcome

-Moving the Brewers from the AL to the NL, destroying the teams' history of rivalries in the AL East.

-The attempted contraction of the Minnesota Twins, which would, not coincidentally, eliminate Selig's Milwaukee Brewers closest geographical competitor.

-Endless Dane Cook commercials.

And with the continuation of the The Selig Era, Gonzoball predicts:

-Instant Replay will be instituted, further slowing the game, and further eroding the natural beauty of the "game of inches."

-A 4th round of playoffs will be created, leading to sub-zero World Series games that start after 9PM EST, and a World Series champion with a sub .500 record.

-The Selig will profit tremendously.

We can never be sure how much The Selig has personally profited from destroying the national pastime, but his 2005 tax return listed his income at close to $15 million. That year, The Selig's Brewers put out a team payroll of less than $40 million. Do the math.

And this was AFTER the Selig family promised the taxpayers of Milwaukee that they'd raise payroll after the city gave them a publicly-funded new stadium. Naturally, after the stadium was built, they cut payroll and sold the team.

As a lover of the game, and the free market, all we can do is lament and kvetch at the likely possibility of another decade of The Selig's reign of Used-Car Salesman thievery and incompetence.