Going into this competition I knew that my stomach capacity and technique were in proper order. The more elements that are controlled going into a competition the better. But no matter how many elements you control the unknown is always the food. The only consistent food on the circuit has been Krystal hamburgers and Ash creek ribs. Consistent is defined as being consistently good and fast by having food at ideal temperatures and skillfully prepared. When the food is in question the totals will vary from year to year based on preparation and speed during the competition. If the food was overcooked or cold the numbers will suffer. This is not a complaint but a way of the circuit. Honestly, if I had to cook for myself and other eaters I would not be too pleased in preparing food knowing its consumption will be at breakneck speed. For most competitions normal things that tie into eating go out the window. For example, normally one eats when hungry. It's rare to be hungry going into a competition as butterflies and excitement trump all other feeling a normal brain exhibits. While most eat food for flavor and nourishment, textures are the only thing that registers during contests. Afterwards conversation and reflection will stem from thoughts on how chewy, crunchy, or slimy the food was. The higher the level of eater the less all of these outside or unknown factors come into play. Once everything else is tuned out and the mind is dialed into consumption mode it doesn't matter that the food was ice cold or meat needed a hack saw to cut into consumable bites. As all eaters have the same food, if it was difficult, it was difficult for everyone. It took quite some time to be comfortable and perform when dealing with the outside factors.

There is no comfort when facing Joey Chestnut in battle. This was the case in Stockton a week ago. This contest has forced me to refocus my efforts in eating. I have gone into every competition with the burning desire to be victorious no matter the opponents. There have been times where victories have come as disappointment as the level of eating was not up to my standards. There have also been competitions where 3rd place finishes have brought happiness and contentment because a new level of concentration and performance had been reached. Following this contest disappointed in my performance because of a slow and clumsy start, as well as struggling to stay competitive in the 2nd half of the competition where the thoughts that saturated my cranium. This contest along with peanut butter and jelly, and waffle house waffles will continue to be a humbling discipline. The numbers will never truly reflect the difficulty and unnatural feeling it takes to process and consume these items. Out of all foods these 3 in seem like ones god never intended to be consumed in high volume or speed. The best analysis is to compare the asparagus to steel wool. Never have is it been such a struggle to clear mouthful after mouthful and to know that you are chasing a runaway horse. There was no way I was catching Joey on that day. The entire competition consisted of a panicked catch up mode. With 5 lbs downed by us both in 4 minutes it was a limp across the finish. Each mouthful required vast amounts of liquid to clear (the warm pink lemonade not helping in the least). It was strictly a jaw and throat strength showcase. Never before has a contest taxed every function that is required of a top gurgitator. It challenged capacity, jaw strength, speed, stamina, and speed of swallow.

In the end, Joey showed a true champions desire and determination to power through all feelings and brain functions. A point came with 1 minute remaining where the margin was 1 spear. It became obvious that I could take this contest in front of Joey's home crowd. I saw victory and let it slip through my grasp. My brain knew the necessary means to achieve this yet a disconnect between brain and body function existed. It was a point of mental and physical failure as neither would respond in the dwindling seconds. Asparagus was forced in yet my body fought every attempt to let it pass down my esophagus. It's provides evidence that Joey is a true champion; a champion knows how to coerce every ounce of drive and performance out of their body, doesn't make excuses, and gets the job done. My goal has been to be the number one eater in the world. That obstacle rivals world record pole vaulting heights as I push myself mentally and physically to best Joey and Kobayashi.

Upon reflection it seems I've been going through the motions for quite some time. It took a losing record against Joey in "08 to realize that I am not having the same amount of fun that I once did in competition. When I can look inside and realize that it's an honor to be the number 2 ranked eater and not be so focused on performance, the zone I got in, and speed, I will be far better off. Somewhere through the 100+ contests I lost sight of the fact that this sport although serious should be one of enjoyment and fun. The payoff is in the journey, friendships, and knowledge of new boundaries and limits one can push their body in search of supremacy and greatness.

My next competition will be on May 10th in Minneapolis Minnesota as I attempt to qualify for Nathan's famous annual 4th of July competition. My goal is to come close to my personal best of 49 hot dogs and buns and to win. If you're in the area you can check it out;

@12:30 pm

Cub Foods Grocery Store

15350 Cedar Avenue South

Apple Valley, MN 55124



Also, for those interested in major league eating go to http://www.majorleagueeating.com/



Chow, eat up and eat well,



Patrick Deep Dish Bertoletti

As I continue to blog, it will be clear that I am little private. So, when I wrote this blog I did not post it until I convinced myself nobody would read it (and I edited it..buzzed... haha)....

I was able to walk away from the asparagus contest with a victory, but I have been shaking my head and trying to figure out why things are not coming together the way they should. The contest took place at the Stockton Asparagus Festival and there were a ton of people. From the moment I arrived at the festival I felt like I was the hometown eater and a lot of people were in my corner. I was amazed at how many people told me they have been following my eating success since my first victory in Stockton three years ago. It is great to go to these events and only see happy people. It is not at all like work.

The competition in this contest was serious. The contest attracted eaters from New York, Tennessee, Illinois, Washington and Oregon. The asparagus were perfect!!! They tasted much better than the ones I made. I was able to finish my first pound ahead of every one, but I got into an awful habit of watching and reacting to Pat Bertoletti. Pat was eating with a beautiful rhythm, while I was eating in response to Pat. After every pound I would be ahead of Pat by several spears, but instead of continuing to eat at a fast pace I would slow down and wait for Pat to catch up and then I would race to finish the next pound… I could not stop focusing on Pat. I really wanted to just get into my own rhythm and worry about my own pace, but I couldn't.

Unfortunately these habits did not start with this contest. About a month ago I ate with the same lazy technique, in matzo ball contest. Even my training mentality for the past few months has been crappy. Instead of training to do my best, I have been training just enough to win. I don't know why my head is in the wrong place and I don't know what it will take to correct me. When I think back to last year, I cannot believe the amount of intensity and dedication I had. Other eaters have started to notice the decline in focus and they believe I am becoming complacent. I wish it were just complacency, that can be solved with a kick in the ass.

In the end of this contest, I was given credit for eating 8.9 lbs of fried asparagus (I think I only ate about 8.3 lbs., and Pat was close behind). People that are new to Competitive Eating will learn that sometimes the numbers do not exactly add up, but it is rare for the actual placing to get screwed up. Pat did great and he would have edged me out, if there weren't so many people pushing me to win in this contest. I don't know if the video shows it, but I could feel myself respond to the cheers from the audience. In case you are wondering, my piss stunk of something fierce.

All I can do now is look forward to my next contest and hope to break out of my funk.

Good Night,

Joey

I am in the midst of training for the Deep Fried Asparagus Eating Championship. The contest takes place April 26th at the Stockton Asparagus Festival. I currently hold the record for deep fried asparagus, 8.6 pounds in 10 minutes. This year, my biggest competition will come from Pat Bertoletti. Pat is a great eater and whenever I get lazy he pulls off an upset. The chances of Pat walking away with a win in this contest are slim to none. I will let you all know how the contest goes down.

Joey

Asparago is the name and competitive eating is the game.

First off I want to thank Yardbarker for allowing me to blog about the growing sport of competitive eating. I would also like to welcome all readers. I am a Chicagoan and have lived in parts of Chicago for my entire 22 years. The competitive eating circuit has been good to me and has ignited a passion in mass consumption of food. I started at a pizza contest after getting 4th place and the Greek goddess of overeating (Glutonnia) looked down upon me and decided that I had what it took to continue in search of gustatory glory.

After that fateful day over 3 years ago I started entering contests all around the states convincing anyone I could to be my travel partners. I have over 100 contests under my belt and still get complete enjoyment out of every minute of it. Thankfully that belt has not grown in girth. The camaraderie with other eaters, the competition, travel, the element of getting in the zone, and that there is no coach or teammates to help you is what leads to my contentment in this sport. It's a sport of pure mental fortitude and it's an exiting feeling when you are dialed in and consume astronomical and inhuman amounts of food. I am currently ranked number 2 by the Major League eating organization with achieving that number 1 ranking my overall goal.

Eating background aside, my weekly profession has just as much to do with food as the later part time job/ hobby. I graduated with a bachelors degree in culinary arts from Kendall college last year and have been obsessed with everything food ever since. Flavors are what define my life and experiences while everything else takes a back seat as far as I'm concerned.

Now that you know a little something about me the subject at hand must be addressed. Our first Yardbarking blog will focus on the deep fried asparagus contest in Stockton California this April 26th. It's a 10 minute contest and will find myself going up against the number 1 ranked eater- Joey Chestnut. It's a food I have not competed with in 2 years and is one I will be a little rusty on. The only solution to overcome this is to do a practice run where I will borrow the deep fat fryer at work and to cook off a batch of golden tempura battered vegetables. There are a few different tests that would be beneficial in this practice run. One would include matching a liquid that would mask the noxious taste of the asparagus. Another would entail picking a technique that I will use in the competition. This would include finding the quickest and most efficient way to eat the asparagus and will aid in getting into a rhythm during the contest. This is more like a football coach outlining plays and game plans on a chalk board. Some include eating 2 or 3 at a time, eating the tip first, and or taking 2 bites then taking a gulp of liquid. The chosen technique is something I will strive to implement during the length of the contest. It's best to go in with an idea so time is not wasted in figuring it out during the contest. Going in too cocky without a plan usually ends up in a sub par finish or having to borrow a technique from someone else if their technique is faster and better than yours.

My plan of attack is to eat 2 spears at a time and to use as much wylers pink lemonade/ raspberry to get it down. Hopefully my gallon of hollandaise sauce will make it through airport security unscathed. There is no better dipping sauce for asparagus in my book.

It is a crap shoot as to who will come out on top. Joey will be hard to beat but nothing is impossible. I like to think that he is getting lazy and will not likely bring his a game. He has been king of the hill for too long and it's time for his rein of terror to end. In all likelihood the contest will be close. I don't imagine the winner out eating second place by more than half a pound. The winner of this event will be the eater that manages to get into the best rhythm as well having the best command of mind, body, and coordination on eating day. The rhythm is the most important part of the contest. It's a lot like dancing; it has to be a series of smooth movements and transitions. My white boy dancing should not be used as an example as to what good rhythm is. The desired moments would include bite, bite, bite, chew chew, and swallow. Some gulps of liquid will be thrown in, a belch here or there would be nice. And the piece de resistance would include a gentle shaking of the midsection and or jumping up and down forcing the food to settle into the bottom of the stomach, the smoother the process and less choppy the better. I can only hope that on April 26th my mind and body are in sync. I will make sure that my capacity and technique will be where they need to be, I just hope that my mind and body will meet me half way and that I can eat the way I know how.

Ciao, eat up and eat well,

-Pat "Deep Dish" Bertoletti

HELLO ALL!!! I am happy to be blogging on Yardbarker. This is the first sports website to list eating as a sport. Even I hesitate to call it a sport (haha). Along with my goofy eating friend Pat Bertoletti, I will keep the Yard informed of upcoming events, my training, and the lifestyle of the best eater in the world. By blogging, I hope to clear up a couple misconceptions about Competitive Eating and expose everybody to the crazy world of Competitive Eating. I am looking forward to the everybody in the Yard helping me find new challenges and new ways to improve my ability.

Joey