You have to love this Basketbawful scale.
"The following list describes the current group of NBA superstars who are in less-than-optimal situations and assigns them a Sympathy Score. The scores are based on a 10-point scale, where a 1 means you wouldn't walk across the street to pee on them if they were on fire, and a 10 means you might cut off a valued appendage just to ease their suffering."
Kobe's sympathy score? Less than zero. If you have a proper analagy, list it in the comments.