So, here's a little summertime fun. One position. Two bad raps. Ten minutes of your life you can't have back. Vote for the worst of the two. This thread will continue until we find something that will impair your sense of right and wrong forevermore, or until we flesh out a complete roster of inconprehensibly bad rapping ballers. Jump to vote for the worst.

I was inadvertenly teargassed by Reagan's National Guard on Telegraph Avenue as a two year old. I protested for UC divestment from businesses with interests in apartheid-era South Africa as a college student. I even voted for Jesse Jackson. But y'all have got to go.

There was a time when Andris Biedrins was a little-known mid-first round pick with a look that could be charitably characterized as "Dumb and Dumber"-esque. Then he really found the magic. He found the gel. Now on the brink of out-coiffing Andrei Kirilenko, Biedrins has just re-signed for six years and $63 million. This means that he has but one choice: go for the strong stuff. I want to see some Edward Scissorhands type ish on opening night next year.

With reports out of Phoenix indicating that Matt Barnes is close to an agreement with the Phoenix Suns, female season ticket holders are planning an impromptu protest at the team practice facility in Downtown Oakland tomorrow. Details are scarce at this late hour, but when reached for comment, a representative of Women In Powerful Praise of Energetic Defense (WIPPED) identified only as Lil' Dub Fan, responded as follows.

No, "game theory" is not some regional offshoot of pimpology. Game theory is actually a respected branch of applied mathematics, where the application in question is frequently the social sciences. Given the seemingly inexplicable chain reaction that sent Boom Dizzle south, Elton Brand east and Cory Maggette north, let's see what the smart guys might have already expected to happen. Behold, the Prisoner's Dilemma.

Warriors courting Elton Brand AND Corey Maggette? Yo, Warriors. Hear me on this. If you go and blow your bankroll these two, and then somehow fail to have enough in the old Schwab One account to re-sign Monta Ellis, I will mock your ineptness relentlessly.

Last night, the maximum-strength FTB posse was in attendance at the Bay Area screening of the Baron Davis-produced documentary about the history of LA gangs, "Made in America." What we didn't realize was that we were going to be present as one of the most unexpected stories in recent Bay Area sports history broke.

Before filming Contract Karma, we had a chance to sit down with Baron Davis for an interview. This installment? His upcoming Oakland-based youth basketball camp, Rising Stars of America, his personal history and ambitions with regard to organized ball, as well as a couple of questions about the 70s sitcom "The White Shadow." Jump!

All this talk about Baron Davis' contract got you down? Us too. Curious how much he wants to stay in the Bay Area? So were we. That's why fearthebeard.org challenged him to build up his "contract karma" by doing some random acts of kindness. Guess what? He said yes. Make the jump to see the video.

I've been talking smack about how the finals matchup between the Lakers and Celtics was preordained. But my sources are pretty much, well, me. Now disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy has to go and pour kerosene on my little lantern in the form of the following quotables from the Washington Post. Jump for more.

Paul Pierce was fined $25,000 for the gesture that you can see him make to Al Horford at the 30-second mark of the video above. It occurred during game three of their first-round series with Atlanta. Kurt Streeter of the LA Times threw down his take yesterday. After speaking with him, he has agreed to monitor our comments over at FTB and contribute to whatever dialogue we can muster up. So c'mon and jump!

Former Warrior and patron saint of FTB Tom Meschery was known for his extraordinary toughness as a player. This Sunday he's going to be running in the San Francisco stop of the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation Race for Research 5K. A survivor of the disease, he's already raised more than $2,000 and we're hoping to push that number up a bunch of ticks by the time the gun sounds on Sunday morning.

There was the "weird science" from Nellie. There was the mysterious absence of bearditude down the stretch. There was Phoenix coach Mike D'Antoni's steadfast refusal to show any quarter, riding Nasty Nash and the starters for extended minutes. And in the end, there was the eighth defeat in nine tries for the Dubs in the Valley of the Sun. The crucial difference being that this one ended their quest for the eighth seed and a playoff birth.

The game of the season. The chance for greatness. The playoffs. This, my friends, is where bearding up has to happen. If you can't grow one in a day, your solution is at hand. Intimidate like the pros. Make the jump and download the innovative PaperBeard(TM).

Argue a missed call, or hustle back on D? Well if you know that Mike Miller is going to be open off that screen anyway, the answer is easy. Argue the call! Stack's totally already knowing what is about to go down. And I finally get it. I didn't understand it before. He's conserving energy and lobbying for calls that are still, like, in the future and shit. Brilliant.