In case you hadn't noticed, this feature took a bit of a break because we were trying to figure out where to put it during the week. Since football has started we decided to put it on Sunday night/Monday morning so we could include all of that action in our consideration. This week's winner is a no-brainer, congratulations to Norv Turner, who may be the biggest douche yet to win this award.

After Sunday's 30-16 loss to Kansas City, Norv has now, in four games as the Chargers' head coach, lost more regular season games than the team did all of last year. At 1-3 the Chargers have gone from the most talented and promising team in the NFL, to a bottom dweller who look as bad as anyone right now. They have the personnel to win a Super Bowl but there has been absolutely no fire, no intensity and no purpose in the actions of the team so far. The offense is maddeningly predictable, the defense can't tackle and has suffered from stupid penalties (a hallmark of Turner coached teams in the past).

For an example of how predictable the offense has been there's this: against the Chiefs, the Chargers had a 3rd and 2 from their own 29. Trailing 23-16 with under 11 minutes to go, they huddled up. With the best running back in football and a typically stellar offensive line, they lined up in the shotgun and threw to a double-covered Antonio Gates. They hadn't run the ball out of the shotgun all day. What the fu*k is going on here? LaDainian Tomlinson ran for over 100 yards in the first half going between the tackles. So what does Norv do in the second half? He abandons the run, instead tries to get the ball to LT on swing passes and when he does run the ball it's on sweeps and side-to-side runs. Tomlinson finished the day with 132 yards on 20 carries. Thats 6.6 yards per carry. He should get a minimum of 30 carries when he's having a day like that. Isn't Turner supposed to be good at calling plays and developing an offense? Philip Rivers has regressed if anything so far this year and LT can't find anywhere to run.

Norv, you took something beautiful, almost perfect even, and have desecrated it. From 14-2 to this? Who the hell do you think you are? Oh, wait, you're a coach who's gone 59-85-1 in his career. You shouldn't even be allowed to apply for a head coaching job, let alone get one of the most coveted openings in years. But that's not the point, the point is that an idiot could win with this team. If you searched the nearest mental institution, you'd find at least seven guys who could have done better than 1-3 with the talent the Chargers have. Sure they might be sh*tting themselves on the sidelines during the game, but would that be any worse than what Norv has done?

I'm done talking about why Norv sucks. The reasons why he suck are many and have been covered ad nauseam. Instead, I'm going to focus on the intensity of his sucking (with a little help by paraphrasing Stephen Colbert from America: The Book).

Norv Turner is a worthless piece of sh*t. Fu*k him. He is a taint. Not just in the sense of a "stain on the practice of coaching" but literally a taint - the anatomical area between the anus and the testicles.

I hate Norv Turner.

Dishonorable Mention: San Diego Padres, Lou Holtz, College Football's Top 13 teams, Charlie Weis, Jimmy Clausen.

The Chicago Cubs and playoffs are mentioned in the same sentence as much as my name is linked with long-lasting, mind-blowing sex. To put it simply, it ain't that often (it's not always my fault, I swear).

But Wednesday night, the Cubs find themselves in the postseason for just the fifth time since reaching the World Series in 1945. Yup, the final days of the FDR presidency.

From Bartman to curses with goats, the Cubs long list of shortcomings are lore. It's part of the Cubs' charm. This year, that charm might include World Series champion. And no, I'm not high. At least not yet. But if the Red Sox can break their lengthy drought and the White Sox can win the title a year later, than why the hell not?

Now, if the Cubs were in the American League, I would say they have no chance. All four teams in the AL playoffs are better than the teams in the National League. But once you get into the Series anything can happen, and this Cubs team is built for success. Arizona might have the best record in the NL, but the Cubs are among the hottest teams in the game since the All-Star Break, and their lineup is finally hitting the long ball.

Of course, I'm a Cubs fan. My dog's name is Sandberg. I drink Old Style where available. Am I blinded or just dumb? Probably a little bit of both. But like my mom says, "Anyone can win the lotto." And if I can get laid, the Cubs can win. So my goal this week is to go out and find myself a willing partner.

If I do, my belief in the Cubbies will be renewed.

If I nail anything lower than a 6 (out of 10), it means the Cubs might win a game or two, but eventually fall.

If I bag a 7, we're looking at a trip to the NLCS.

An 8, gets me to a Game 7 in the NLCS.

A 9, trip to the World Series.

And a 10, a World Series victory.

I know the odds are stacked against me. I look like Rick Moranis. But we're talking about a team that hasn't won a World Series since 1908.

That was the first year, a ball dropped in NYC for New Year's. It was the first year Mother's Day was observed. There was a revolution in the Ottoman Empire (yes, the Ottoman Empire) and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid were killed in Bolivia.

Hey, anyone can win the lotto.

In what must have been one of the most awkward encounters since Fredo and Michael got together in Cuba, Michael Vick sat through an eight-hour class in empathy and animal protection at PETA headquarters on September 18. Dan Shannon, a PETA spokesman, was with Vick for the duration of the class taught by PETA staff members. Shannon claimed Vick was attentive and inquisitive during the class. He went on to discuss what he saw from the suspended Falcons' quarterback when asked about the interaction Tuesday:

"He was asking questions, following up on points we were making, taking notes. He seemed to be putting an honest effort into trying to get something out of the course."

The people at PETA are convinced that Vick was genuinely involved and moved by the class and has changed. Though they believe he still should serve jail time, we should really believe their assessment of Vick because, well, they've gotten a lot of quasi-famous chicks to pose nude for their cause. That means they're a righteous and good cause right?

Apparently Vick also passed a "very rigorous" written test at the conclusion of the course. Thanks to our crack research team, we've acquired a copy of the test and have decided to reprint it here for you:

Please select the best answer for each question:

1. If your dog stands over hits food bowl and barks at you, you should:

A. Feed the dog

B. Check if there is anything physically wrong with the dog

C. Shoot it

D. Beat the dog to death by repeatedly smashing it's head into the ground, only after attempts to drown it fail.

E. A and B

2. If you come across a malnourished dog, you should:

A. Call animal control and show compassion while awaiting their arrival

B. Shoot it

C. Chain it to a pole and not let it eat until it learns to be "more game"

D. Beat it

3. If a female dog in your possession seems unwilling to breed, you should:

A. Consult a breeding expert

B. Take the dog to a veterinarian

C. Shoot it

D. Use a "rape stand" to hold it in place while it is violated by the desired male dog

E. A or B

4. If a dog resists your commands, you should:

A. Consult a dog training and behavior specialist

B. Watch "The Dog Whisperer"

C. Take it to obedience school

D. Shoot it

E. A or C

5. If your dog is friendly and obeys all of your commands, you should:

A. Reward him or her with a treat

B. Acknowledge and encourage this by petting him or her

C. Shoot it

D. Immediately begin to train it to attack and kill other dogs

E. A or B

6. The best method for executing a dog is:

A. Hanging

B. Shooting

C. Drowning

D. Beating it to death

E. What kind of sick person would execute a harmless animal?

7. Dogfighting is:

A. Illegal

B. Immoral

C. Sick and twisted

D. Bad ass

E. Man, that wasn't even my property anymore

F. A, B and C

8. If one of your prized pit bulls loses a fight, what should you do with the dog?

A. Wet id down with water and then electrocute it

B. Shoot it

C. Immediately take it to the nearest emergency animal hospital

D. I would in no way be involved, since dogfighting is illegal and wrong

9. If you somehow end up at a dogfight, what should you do?

A. Light up a joint, sit back and enjoy the show

B. Call and invite all of your friends

C. Put $15,000 on the favorite

D. Immediately contact the local authorities and alert them to this atrocity

10. If a neighbor's dog is barking loudly and disturbing you, you should:

A. Politely ask your neighbor to deal with the situation

B. Call the police

C. Handle it yourself, don't be no snitch

D. Shoot it

E. A or B

Sports have taken a bit of a downward turn in the last few months at Indiana University. First, the beloved football coach died and then a prized basketball recruit went into business for himself, as it were. Never fear, Indiana fan, the football team is here!

Is Wednesday too early to hype up a Saturday matchup? Maybe. Is October too early to start talking bowl berths? Definitely.

Not that it's going to stop us or Yahoo! Sports. The football-playing Hoosiers are 4-1 after beating Iowa on the road 38-20 last week. Mind you, this is one of the most historically hapless major conference teams in football. Things have gotten so bad in recent years that you may not have even known that IU is 4-1 or that they still play football at all. Hell, Lee Corso was actually our coach at one point!

IU has taken advantage of an extremely easy early-season schedule to get to their current record. Their wins have come over Indiana State, Western Michigan, Akron, and Iowa with the one loss coming at home to Illinois. They don't play Michigan or Ohio State this season and have a hapless, 1-4 Minnesota team coming to the crib this weekend. They also have the best quarterback/receiver combo in the conference in Kellen Lewis and James Hardy. That's right, I said it. They're better than Henne to Manningham partially because Michigan runs the ball too much, and partially because the Hoosiers are forced to throw due to the total absence of a running game. Oh and the Hoosiers didn't lose to Appalachian State (yeah references to that game aren't ever going to go away). Still, the point is the Indiana Hoosiers are no longer an easy game for anyone on their schedule. And James Hardy is sick.

Why are we bringing this up, other than because we're homers? Because the Purdue-controlled media want you to notice. They're everywhere, just look at Bob Griese with his shifty eyes and terrible quarterback of a son. They let articles like the Yahoo! Sports one show up early in the season so that the Hoosiers will start to feel the pressure to get that sixth win, thus gaining bowl-eligibility for the first time since 1993. In their perfect world, the Hoosiers' chances at a bowl will come down to the season-ending game against Purdue in Bloomington. Then the Boilermakers will hand the Hoosiers and their fans a painful loss and trot into whatever meaningless bowl they made. This is how Purdue fan thinks, people, they're that petty. It's a vast conspiracy and we won't just sit here and take it. We're blowing the lid off it right here, right now. Down with the Boiler-led media!

So we rebuke those who would hex our Indiana Hoosiers. This is a great start and the team isn't going to get stuck thinking about the future yet. It doesn't matter how many positive articles get written or how good a story the team is since they're playing this season for Terry Hoeppner, they have Minnesota this weekend and that's that. Plus, Purdue is totally getting killed by Ohio State this weekend, Troy Smith or no Troy Smith.

God a bowl game would be awesome. I'd totally go. But we're not thinking about that right now. Nope, not at all.

And alas, we've come to the final installment of our EPL Season Preview...I was going to think of some clever lead in, but I'm afraid after toying around with Madden 08 for a few hours, I just don't have the patience.

So with out further adieu:

1. Liverpool

Main additions: F Fernando Torres (Atletico Madrid), MF Yossi Benayoun (West Ham), F Ryan Babel (Ajax), F Andriy Voronin (Bayer Leverkusen)

Main subtractions: F Craig Bellamy (West Ham), MF Luis Garcia (Atletico Madrid)

Breakout star: Ryan Babel - The electric young Dutchman is a star in the making. Holland national team coach Marco Van Basten called the 20-year old the next Thierry Henry. Not bad praise. He doesn't have an overly impressive scoring record (19 goals in 68 games), but he is a top quality striker with loads of skill and will force his way into the lineup, likely at the expense of beanpole Peter Crouch.

American connection: Dallas Stars and Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks and Montreal Canadiens owner George Gillett sign the checks.

Outlook: Sure Liverpool hasn't tasted domestic success since 1990, but their form in the Champions League the past three years has been phenomenal and with the addition of the firepower they've brought in, namely Fernando Torres, the balance of power might be shifting to Anfield. Plus, anytime you have Steven Gerrard, the best English player in the world, patrolling the midfield and scoring wondergoals like this, it makes it hard to root against them.

2. Manchester United

Main additions: MF Nani (Sporting Lisbon), MF Owen Hargreaves (Bayern Munich), MF Anderson (Porto), F Carlos Tevez (West Ham)

Main subtractions: F Alan Smith (Newcastle), Kieran Richardson (Sunderland)

Breakout star: Nani - The Portuguese starlet hails from the same system that produced Cristiano Ronaldo and he's looked absolutely scintillating in preseason matches. Expect to see plenty of his cartwheel/flip goal celebrations as he fills in for the aging Ryan Giggs.

American connection: The Glazer family signs the checks, despite utter outrage from the United faithful. After returning the Premiership title back to Old Trafford, I find it ironic that fans like this were probably weeping like little boys when the trophy was raised.

Outlook: You hate to bet against the defending champions, especially after they've improved their squad over the summer. Even with Paul Scholes and Ryan Giggs aging, ready-made replacements are already on hand, and truth be told, should nudge the veteran duo toward the sidelines, though Giggs is still a terror on the wing. Wayne Rooney's hairline fracture in his foot was not the news United needed out of the gates, but Carlos Tevez will prove well worth the saga it took for him to make the switch from West Ham. United's weakness lies in net with Edwin Van Der Sar. Once one of the world's elite keepers, Van Der Sar is well past his prime and the Red Devils might have to rely on Poland's No. 3 keeper (yikes).

3. Chelsea

Main additions: MF Steve Sidwell (Reading), D Tal Ben Haim (Bolton), F Claudio Pizzaro (Bayern Munich), MF Florent Malouda (Lyon), D Alex (PSV Eindhoven)

Main subtractions: MF Geremi (Newcastle), D Khalid Boulahrouz (Sevilla)

Breakout star: John Obi Mikel - Every lanky, African defensive midfielder is called the next Patrick Viera. Mikel isn't quite at the level of the Frenchman, but he soon will be. Teaming up with Michael Essien in the middle of the park will make scoring on Chelsea increasingly difficult.

American connection: Over the past two seasons, Jose Mourinho has brought his team of high-priced All-Stars to the States for some fun in the sun (they really love LA). And when they're not losing to the MLS All-Stars, the Blues are led behind the scenes by American chairman Bruce Buck. Buck, an attorney by day, is the only other human to own a share of Chelsea FC besides Roman Abramovich. Buck owns one. Abramovich owns 84 million. "So you're telling me there's a chance..."

Outlook: Always the title contender, Chelsea will be ravaged by the African Nations Cup (Jan. 20-Feb. 10). Most likely to be unavailable to Mourinho will be Michael Essien (Ghana), Salomon Kalou and Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast) and John Obi Mikel (Nigeria). Chelsea has the depth now to handle the losses, but they are losing world class players who have been instrumental in the team's successes, namely Drogba and Essien.

4. Arsenal

Main additions: F Eduardo da Silva (Dinamo Zagreb), D Bacary Sagna (Auxerre)

Main subtractions: F Thierry Henry (Barcelona), MF Freddie Ljungberg (West Ham), F Jeremie Aliadiere (Middlesbrough)

Breakout star: Nicklas Bendtner - So you thought I was going to go with the obvious and pick Theo Walcott. Sorry, I'm not sold on the pint-sized Englishmen despite all the hype. At 6-foot-3, Bendnter has exactly what Arsenal is missing, and the Dane is still just 19-years old. He spent last season on loan at Birmingham City and impressed scoring 13 times. City manager Steve Bruce tried desperately to convince Arsene Wenger to sell the forward, but Wenger held firm. Wise move.

American connection: Denver Nuggets and Colorado Avalanche owner Stan Kroenke is trying to become the next American tycoon to cash in on the EPL's popularity, btu so far has been held off in his takeover bid. Kroenke currently owns 12 percent of the club.

Outlook: The sky isn't falling depsite the loss of King Henry to Barcelona. Arsene Wenger has done a fantastic job of bringing in top young talent and the team will gel with time and become a title contender again in a year or so. The Gunners will go through some growing pains, but Cesc Fabregas, Robin Van Persie and Denilson provide a strong glimpse of what is to come in the years ahead.

5. Everton

Main additions: D Phil Jagielka (Sheffield United), D Leighton Baines (Wigan), MF Steven Pienaar (Borussia Dortmund)

Main subtractions: F James Beattie (Sheffield United), D Gary Naysmith (Sheffield United)

Breakout star: Manuel Fernandes - Everton are still trying to negotiate the right buyout price with Benfica for Fernandes, who spent last season on loan at Goodison Park. It took the Portugese youngster a little bit of time to adjust to the English game, but at the tail end of last year, Fernandes and Mikel Arteta made a dynamic midfield combo. Fernandes' on the ball skill is almost second to none and he very may well be a world class star in the making. Now comes the tricky part of keeping him at Everton.

American connection: Look no further than between the pipes for the Toffees. American stalwart Tim Howard spent a season on loan from Manchester United in 2005 and quickly endeared himself to the Goodison Park faithful and David Moyes. Everton made Howard's move a permanent one (something I'm sure United fans are still seething over with Van Der Sar bumbling). Team USA's new No. 1 keeper, Howard ranked in the top three in saves last year, joining two other Americans on that list (Blackburn's Brad Friedel and Reading's Marcus Hahnemann). Now if we could only produce 6-foot-3 strikers with blazing speed and cannons for feet (Jozy Altidore, I'm looking in your direction).

Outlook: Two years ago, Everton qualified for European competition, finishing fourth in the table, only to fizzle out in the first round. That disappointment led to an unexplainable free fall down the table and nearly cost David Moyes his job. Everton righted the ship last year and finished sixth. Expect more of the same from the Toffees, who only tweaked their team in the transfer window. The blue side of Liverpool might be one striker away from really given the top four a run for its money.

6. Tottenham

Main additions: F Darren Bent (Charlton), D Gareth Bale (Southampton), MF Kevin Prince-Boateng (Hertha Berlin)

Main subtractions: F Mido (Middlesbrough)

Breakout star: Gareth Bale - When the 18-year old Welsh left back returns healthy from a knock, he will certainly displace Paul Stalteri. Bale is a free kick specialist and scored five times for Southampton last year in the Championship. You don't usually see 115 shots attempted by a fullback, but Bale had the green light, and rightfully so.

American connection: U.S. national team goalie Kasey Keller spent three seasons with Spurs appearing in 51 games. Keller arrived at Tottenham as a backup to Neil Sullivan, but won the starting job and played every minute for Spurs in 2002-03 and 2003-04. After the arrival of England No. 1 Paul Robinson, Keller was sold to German club Borussia Monchengladbach (now that's a mouthful).

Outlook: Loaded with striking options, Martin Jol (or Tony Soprano as he's sometimes called by Tottenham fans) will give opposing defenses fits with the likes of Dimitar Berbatov, Darren Bent, Robbie Keane and Jermain Defoe. Perhaps he has too many options and will struggle to keep them all happy, but Tottenham's strike force is mighty impressive. With Aaron Lennon making enterprising runs down the right flank and Gareth Bale launching shots from the left, Tottenham once again will be one of the more pleasing teams to watch this year.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I told you over the next three days I was going to provide you with the conclusion of our EPL previews. But I have to be honest, I can't remember much after Thursday night. Some Czech model slipped something into my drink, took me back to her place and pretty much kept me occupied for three days. And if you don't believe that, then I was busy watching four soccer matches on Saturday and lounging at the pool on Sunday. But that's all semantics. So without any further delay, here is the continuation of our EPL Season Preview:

7. Newcastle

Main additions: F Alan Smith (Manchester United), MF Joey Barton (Manchester City), D David Rozenhal (Paris St. Germain), MF Geremi (Chelsea), D Cacapa (Lyon), F Mark Viduka (Middlesbrough), D Jose Enrique (Villareal)

Main subtractions: D Titus Bramble (Wigan) MF Scott Parker (West Ham)

Breakout star: David Edgar - The 20-year old Canadian defender saw some spot action late last year and even scored a goal for the Magpies. At 6-foot-4, he was the protypical size for a defender and he's shown he can handle his own in reserve matches. Now, it's his chance to prove he belongs in the first team.

American connection: Manager Sam Allardyce played the 1983 season with the Tampa Bay Rowdies of the NASL. The former Bolton Wanderers manager was a star defender for Bolton in the 1970s and brought the club to the Premiership and UEFA Cup football before leaving for St. James Park.

Outlook: Newcastle's roster has always been an impressive one and with the likes of Alan Smith, Mark Viduka, Obafemi Martins and Michael Owen up top, one can expect the goals to fly in for Newcastle. With Freddy Shepard and Glenn Roeder gone, expect teh new regime to provide just what Jordy fans have been pining for - wins.

8. Manchester City

Main additions: F Rolando Bianchi (Reggina), F Valeri Bojinov (Fiorentina), MF Elano (Shakhtar Donetsk), MF Gelson Fernandes (FC Sion), D Javi Garrido (Real Sociedad), MF Martin Petrov (Atletico Madrid), D Vedran Corluka (Dinamo Zagreb)

Main subtractions: MF Joey Barton (Newcastle), D Sylvain Distin (Portsmouth)

Breakout star: Michael Johnson - The 19-year old central midfielder is a ready-made replacement for Joey Barton and impressed during the end of last season. Liverpool tried to pry him loose with an $8 million bid, which is extremely telling, seeing as Liverpool seems to only buy players who speak Spanish.

American connection: U.S. national team winger DaMarcus Beasley spent the second half of the year on loan and performed well enough (three goals) to catch the eye of Scottish giants Glasgow Rangers. Former U.S. national team captain Claudio Reyna patrolled the center of the pitch for Citeh before arriving in New York with the MLS.

Outlook: Sven has landed! Linked with every high profile managerial opening Sven-Goran Eriksson finally saw a job worthy of returning to the touchline. But Manchester City? While it was a surprise move, he's got a great stadium, a rabid fan base and seemingly unlimited funds from former Thailand prime minister Thaskin Shinawarta. Last year's top scorer Joey Barton (six goals) was shipped off to Newcastle. That's right, the Sky Blues top scorer from a year ago was a midfielder with six goals. No wonder, Sven went out and bought nearly a whole new starting XI.

9. Blackburn

Main additions: F Roque Santa Cruz (Bayern Munich), Maceo Rigters (NAC Breda)

Main subtractions: D Michael Gray (Wolverhampton), D Andy Todd (Derby County)

Breakout star: Maceo Rigters - It will be hard for the young Dutch starlet to earn playing time behind Roque Santa Cruz, Benny McCarthy and Matt Derbyshire, but Ritgers will feature heavily in the team's Carling and FA Cup action and will quickly establish himself as a viable option, which in turn might lead McCarthy to being expendable in the January transfer window.

American connection: Arguably one of the best goalkeepers in the Premier League, and has been for the past six seasons, Brad Friedel is a god at Ewood Park. Last year, Friedel made an astounding 241 saves for Rovers and has been omnipresent between the pipes for Mark Hughes' side.

Outlook: Blackburn just missed out on European football last year, but they'll be in the mix once again especially with the addition of Roque Santa Cruz, who already proved his worth with a goal in Blackburn's first game of the year. Mark Hughes is one of the brighter managers in England and has a healthy squad to chose from. If Rovers fall down the table, Benny McCarthy and Morten Gamst Pedersen might be sold, with Pedersen interesting the top clubs in Europe.

10. Portsmouth

Main additions: D Sylvain Distin (Manchester City), D Herman Hreidarsson (Charlton), MF Sulley Muntari (Udinese), F David Nugent (Preston North End), F John Utaka (Rennes)

Main subtractions: F Andy Cole (released), F Lomana Tresor LuaLua (Olympiakos)

Breakout star: Niko Kranjcar - Thought of as one Europe's top young talents prior to the World Cup, Kranjcar has struggled to cement a starting XI spot at Fratton Park, but expect the Croatian midfielder to work his way into the lineup and become a fixture by the end of the season. He oozes of class and can strike the ball with the best of them from beyond the box.

American connection: Manager Harry Redknapp played for the Seattle Sounders from 1976-1979 playing in 24 games for the NASL team.

Outlook: Harry Redknapp has a squad the size of some of the top clubs in England and he's done marvelously well in the transfer market the past two summers. He had to fight off a host of teams, including Everton and Sunderland, for David Nugent's signature and the English U-21 forward will be looking to impress in his long-awaited Premiership curtain raising. The capture of Sylvain Distin from Manchester City even more importnat. The French defender is as steady as they come and will pair with Sol Campbell to make the defense in front of David James one of the most formidable in the top flight.

11. Bolton

Main additions: MF Daniel Braaten (Rosenborg), MF Christian Wilhelmson (Nantes), F Heidar Helguson (Fulham), MF Gavin McCann (Aston Villa), D Jlloyd Samuel (Aston Villa), D Gerald Cid (Bordeaux), M Danny Guthrie (Livepool), D Andy O'Brien (Portsmouth)

Main subtractions: D Tal Ben Haim (Chelsea), MF Henrik Pederson (released), MF Quinton Fortune (released)

Breakout star: Christian Wilhelmson - Have I mentioned I have a man crush on the Swedish national team? This further cements that, but the pacy Wilhelmson will electrify Wanderers' fans. He can't seem to stay at one club for too long (Nantes loaned him out to Roma last year), but he's impressed at each spot. Wilhelmson came to prominence for his work in Euro 2004 and continued to draw notice at last year's World Cup.

American connection: If you thought Wilhelmson was fast, well American youngster Johann Smith makes the Swede winger look like a four-cylinder 2000 Jetta with 100,000 miles on it (i.e. my whip). Smith was slated for plenty of action in the U-20 World Cup to be paired alongside Jozy Altidore, but he suffered an injury in training. The 20-year old spent last season on loan at Colchester United and might again be loaned out with the mergence of Portugese youngster Ricardo Vaz Te, but Smith is a name for the future for American soccer fans.

Outlook: With Big Sam gone, now it's time for Little Sam to show what he's got. Sammy Lee (a watered-down version of Gary Busey) has the task of keeping Bolton in the top half of the table and competing for European football, something his predecessor Sam Allardyce was remarkably able to do. Bolton has much of the same roster it did with Allardyce, but Big Sam was a presence that got the most out of players (i.e. Nicolas Anelka, El Hadji Diouf). It remains to be seen if Little Sam can do the same.

12. West Ham

Main additions: F Craig Bellamy (Liverpool), MF Scott Parker (Newcastle), MF Freddie Ljungberg (Arsenal), MF Julien Faubert (Bordeaux)

Main subtractions: F Marlon Harewood (Aston Villa), MF Nigel Reo-Coker (Aston Villa), F Carlos Tevez (Manchester United), MF Yossi Benayoun (Liverpool), D Paul Konchesky (Fulham)

Breakout star: Mark Noble - After spending half of the year on loan at Ipswich Town, Noble returned to West Ham and started 10 games, scoring twice. The 20-year old showed the type of endeavor in the midfield the Hammers are going to need with the loss of Nigel Reo-Coker and influential midfielder Yossi Benayoun.

American connection: Yankee fullback Jonathan Spector started 17 games for the Hammers last year and earned rave reviews for his performance against his former club, Manchester United, namely Cristiano Ronaldo.

Outlook: Alan Curbishley took over a sinking ship last year and with the help of Carlos Tevez was able to keep the Hammers up. Now, Tevez is with Manchester United after a summerlong soap opera that was far more entertaining than Mark Schlereth's appearances on Guiding Light. West Ham has talent, but can never seem to put it all together. The loss of Reo-Coker and Benayoun in midfield will hurt, but Freddie Ljunjberg's vast experience should help offset the departures.

13. Aston Villa

Main additions: MF Marlon Harewood (West Ham), MF Nigel Reo-Coker (West Ham), GK Scott Carson (Liverpool, loan)

Main subtractions: F Juan Pablo Angel (New York Red Bull), MF Steven Davis (Fulham), D Liam Ridgewell (Birmingham), MF Gavin McCann (Bolton), D Jlloyd Samuel (Bolton), D Aaron Hughes (Fulham)

Breakout star: Ashley Young - The dimunitive winger has loads of pace and tricks and will provide a solid 1-2 punch with Gabriel Agbonlahor patrolling the other wing. Aston Villa paid Watford a pretty penny to pry the 22-year old loose, but Young is the type of player that gives defenders fits.

American connection: Cleveland Browns owner Al Lerner signs the checks.

Outlook: Villa fans always seem to think their team is worthy of European contention, but the reality is this is a mediocre team and will be until proper funds are pumped into the squad. Martin O'Neill purged his roster of a number of David O'Leary holdovers including talented young players like Steven Davis and Liam Ridgewell. Marlon Harewood is a limited striker, but manages to score. Keep an eye on Luke Moore, who might keep Harewood on the bench. Getting Scott Carson on loan from Liverpool was a coup especially with Thomas Sorensen's hot and cold play.

Things got worse for Michael "Ookie" Vick today. Everyone's favorite dogfighting proprietor got bad news today, as his last two co-defendants decided to plead guilty to the charges against them and agreed to assist the government in the case against the lone remaining defendant (Vick).

As always, when we need analysis of complicated legal matters we call on our lawyer friend "Booter" to assist us. Just to remind you of who Booter is, he's a cross between Roger Cossack, Lionel Hutz and John "Bluto" Blutarsky. Yes, we actually know a lawyer, yes his nickname is "Booter" and yes we do have hours of compromising videotape that allows us to force him to lower himself to our level, so we can employ his services whenever we need him. Here's what he had to say about the latest developments in the Vick case:

New Developments:

Today Purnell Peace and Quanis Phillips (hopefully not relation to R&R's Phillips) pleaded guilty to the charges against them and agreed to help the government with their case against Michael Vick. That means that Tony "T" Taylor, Peace and Phillips have all decided to flip on Vick, leaving him as the lone defendant in the case. To put it in football terms, if the United States Attorney's office was playing defense against team Bad Newz Kennels, with Vick under center,

when "T" flipped it was like a blitzing linebacker making his way into the backfield. It was a bad situation, sure, but with Vick's ability, he could juke his way to a four yard gain. With the defection of Peace and Phillips, the current situation is more like a botched shotgun snap over his head, while the entire offensive line decides to "Ole" block in the face of an all out blitz. It's basically hopeless for the man who has done for dogfighting what Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden did for cocaine. We all knew it was around in sports, but those guys took it to another level.

What's Next:

When news of today's plea agreements broke, it came with news that Vick had until Friday to accept the government's plea deal or go to trial on the existing charges. There is also the real possibility that the government could tack on charges related to RICO violations, gambling related to the slaughter of dogs, or both. Obviously any additional charges against Vick would not bode well for him. An accusation of gambling would only add to any potential jail time, not to mention result in an even longer suspension from Judge Dredd NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. So Vick is left with a choice of either taking Uncle Sam's deal or he can try to go down fighting.

Multiple sources are reporting that Vick's lawyers want any potential deal with the government to include less than a year in prison, while prosecutors want Vick to spend at least that, and likely more, behind bars. From a negotiating perspective, Vick doesn't appear to have much to bargain with. Unless he has damning information on other dog fighting kingpins around the country that he is willing to give up in exchange for leniency, his only real leverage is to save the government the time, expense and hassle of going on trial. From my limited dealings with prosecutors and specifically the U.S. Attorney's office, if they smell blood, they go in for the kill. In other words, they won't bend and cut Vick a sweetheart deal of less than a year in jail, unless he gives them a damn good reason to.

Likely Result:

My assessment is that the Feds will likely play hardball with Vick. They are in no hurry to get things over with, as they hold all the cards. As it stands now, Vick will likely have to agree to a prison term of at least 13-16 months.

-Booter

Thanks Booter, as always for that excellent legal analysis. As always we salute you and your law degree, which continues to come in handy for us.

Just a few notes from the email Booter sent me:

-He does not think it's likely that Vick will be sent to the Nash Correctional Institution in Raleigh, North Carolina, thereby ending McD's dream of the most prolific prison QB/WR tandem ever. Bummer, because that Rae Carruth - Mike Vick pairing would have been sweet.

-He does, however, think that Vick really wishes his co-defendants had listened to Carmelo Anthony and the "Stop Snitching" movement.

Remember when the Boston Red Sox picked up Eric Gagne at the trade deadline and all the ESPN hacks were saying how they had plugged their only real hole and that he might solidify them as the sure-fire World Series favorite? Gagne was supposed to be the guy who took the Red Sox bullpen from shaky set-up core to a feared group of stoppers. He was supposed to be the difference between a team with a hole and a title contender. Yeah, about that.

Since coming to Boston from the Texas Rangers on July 31st, Gagne has appeared in just five games. He's pitched 4.0 innings, allowed 10 hits, seven runs (all earned) one home run, walked two and opponents are hitting .455 against him. That's good enough (bad enough?) for a 15.45 ERA a 3.00 WHIP and a blown save. Ouch.

Yesterday he entered with a runner on and a 3-1 lead, he promptly gave up a game-tying home run to Miguel Tejada. The Sox went on to lose the game, allowing the Yankees to close to within four games of the AL East lead. This also came after he blew a four-run lead in Friday's game, a 6-5 loss. After yesterday's game, Gagne reportedly went on a profanity-laced rant about his horrid performance since arriving:

"I'm not doing my job right now. I'm letting everybody here down. I need to step up my game. We should have won three game out of three and I ... (expletives deleted) ... blew two of them. They brought me in to do a job and I'm not doing it. It's ridiculous. These guys play eight great innings and I go out there and blow it. It's a shame."

Yes Eric it certainly is. Well, unless you're the New York Yankees. Man this is great. We're watching the complete and utter breakdown of a guy in a pressure situation. This could be Mitch Williams-esque. I can't wait for the dugout shot of Curt Schilling covering his eyes next time Gagne enters a game. Hey Eric, think maybe it's time to go back on the juice?

I don't know about you, but when I think of the Pittsburgh Steelers I think of toughness, a good old-fashioned cold-weather, smash-mouth football team. I think Jerome Bettis, Mean Joe Greene, Franco Harris and Terry Bradshaw. Maybe once in a while I think of Ben Roethlisberger's face flying through a windshield, but that's a rare occurrence. So this week I, and the rest of the sports blogosphere, was more than mildly amused by naming of the new Steelers mascot. Presenting, Steely McBeam. The name was selected out of nearly 70,000 names submitted by Steelers fans from around the world.

Seriously, what the fu*k Steelers fans, that one was selected as the best? Steely McBeam sounds like an evil wizard from a Harry Potter book or a super-villain from one of the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies, you know, the ones where they weren't trying? The winning entry came from Diane Roles of Valencia, Pa. On behalf of the rest of America I'd just like to say thank you Diane, you've given us hours of comedic fun with this one. The best part is that the mascot is a slack-jawed, steel beam carrier who looks like the unholy offspring of Bill Cowher and the West Virginia Mountaineer.

I'm sure that's exactly the image the city needs haunting it's sidelines and stands when they're struggling through a 7-9 season. We can only hope the notoriously angry Steelers fans don't turn on him. Hey Steely, watch you're back man, that's the only advice we can offer you.

A few words come to mind when I think of the San Diego Padres offense. Punchless, anemic, hapless, weak, maybe even effete or feminine. But as I was sitting here watching Joel Pineiro - Joel "FREAKING" Pineiro - toss seven shutout innings while only allowing four hits in a 5-0 Cardinals win, I could only think of one thing to describe it: Impotent.

Yes, one night after Kip "FREAKING" Wells (the same Kip Wells who currently owns 13 losses and a 5.27 ERA) threw seven innings without giving up an earned run in a 2-1 Cardinals win, the Padres were stifled once again. This is getting ridiculous. Going into last night's game, their pitching staff currently has the lowest ERA in the majors, at 3.49, that's 0.32 better than second place. They've combined for 16 shutouts this season, which is seven more than the second place team. With pitching like that they should be running away with the National League West and be favored to win the World Series. But their offense is laughable.

Entering last night's game they ranked last in the majors in batting average (.244) and on base percentage (.312), are next to last in hits (943) and are three from the bottom in slugging percentage (.392). To give you some reference, the Yankees are currently first in batting average at .291. Hell, the Orioles are at .274, the Devil Rays are at .269 and even the Royals are at .266. If the Padres had any of those offenses, they'd be far and away the best team in the National League and one of the best in baseball. As of now, they're middling around with a .535 winning percentage, three games behind the Diamondbacks in the NL West.

It's awful, of the hitters that qualify (351 plate appearances) Adrian Gonzalez leads the team with a .266 average, Mike Cameron is second at .252 and Khalil Greene is third at - prepare yourselves - .228. Read that again, I'll wait. So what did they do to punch up the offense as the deadline approached? Added Rob Mackowiak (.273), Morgan Ensberg (.231), Scott Hairston (.240) and Michael Barrett (.247). Nice work guys, problems solved, let's get a sandwich and watch the wins roll in.

So I'm suggesting a solution. Every Padre hitter must take at least one tablet of Viagra, Cialis or their erectile dysfunction medication of choice, before each game. Cialis would work better for the bench players, so when the moment is right, they'll be ready. Sure it'll lead to some awkward shower time after the game, especially with the Giles brothers and Greg Maddux around, but hey it just might work. Couldn't possibly be worse than it is. By the way, I thought about making a "ring-toss" joke about the aforementioned Giles bros. but we try to keep things classy around here. Normally I'd just suggest they look at a picture of Jessica Alba to add some potency to their bats, but with the recent Jeter-induced herpes rumor going around, that might not do the trick. But honestly, even knowing that, we'd all still hit it. Repeatedly.

Well another English Premier League season is upon us, and I must say it couldn't come soon enough. Sure the season ended in mid-May, and while the Gold Cup and Copa America provided a nice distraction during the summer, I'm ready for the glitz and glam that is the EPL.

Here at Rumors and Rants we're pretty ardent soccer fans. From the David Ginola era at Tottenham and Alan Shearer's Blackburn days, we've been soccer junkies long before Saved By the Bell re-runs aired hourly on TBS.

Now, don't be quick to label us yuppie American sports fans looking for anything across the Atlantic to cheer for. I like the MLS and firmly believe a few American teams could avoid relegation in the EPL, but I doubt you'll see these in the MLS (sorry for the Goo Goo Dolls backtrack).

Over the next three days we'll preview the upcoming Premiership campaign starting from the bottom up. I'll stop wasting your time and get right to it:

14. Birmingham

Main additions: MF Olivier Kapo (Juventus), F Garry O'Connor (Lokomotiv Moscow), M Fabrice Muamba (Arsenal), D Franck Queudrue (Fulham), D Stuart Parnaby (Middlesbrough), D Liam Ridgewell (Aston Villa), D Rafael Schmitz (Lille), GK Richard Kingson (Hammarby), MF Daniel de Ridder (Celta Vigo)

Main subtractions: F DJ Campbell (Leicester City), MF Stephen Clemence (Leicester City)

Breakout star: Garry O'Connor - The 24-year old Scottish striker returns back to Great Britain after a year and a half in Russia for Lokomotiv Moscow. O'Connor starred at Hibernian in the Scottish Premier League scoring 24 goals in his final two years in Scotland before moving to the land that gave us tATu. The 6-foot-1 forward never settled in Russia, scoring just seven goals, but O'Connor has a solid strike rate with the Scottish national team and if he can provide goals for Birmingham, the Blues will avoid the drop.

American connection: Former Birmingham player and manager Trevor Francis spent the 1978 and 1979 seasons as a member of the Detroit Express in the NASL scoring 39 goals in 38 games. Francis, who managed the Blues from 1996-2001, now works as a talking head for Sky Sports.

Outlook: Birmingham has done the most out of the newly promoted sides in the summer and they've brought in a number of quality players. Ghana goalkeeper Richard Kingson will eventually take over the No. 1 shirt in net and French midfielder Olivier Kapo and Arsenal product Fabrice Muamba will hold down the midfield. Manager Steve Bruce is still trying to bring Egyptian striker Mido to St. Andrews from Tottenham, and if he does he'll have a number of scoring options with Gary McSheffrey, Garry O'Connor, Mikael Forsell, Cameron Jerome and Rowan Vine already in camp.

15. Middlesbrough

Main additions: F Jeremie Aliadiere (Arsenal), F Tuncay (Fenerbache), D Luke Young (Charlton)

Main subtractions: MF James Morrison (West Brom), F Mark Viduka (Newcastle), D Stuart Parnaby (Birmingham)

Breakout star: David Wheater - The 20-year old central defender towers over opponents at 6-foot-5, but is currently behind Emmanuel Pogatetz and Jonathan Woodgate at the center of Middlesbrough's defense. However, Middlesbrough has a history of elevating players from its academy, and Wheater is next in line to make an impression at the Riverside.

American connection: Spanish midfielder Gaizka Mendieta has been linked with a move to MLS in recent months and might still find his way across the Atlantic before the former Valencia star's career is through.

Outlook: Gareth Southgate is still learning on the job and letting Mark Viduka go was a vital mistake, especially if Middlesbrough is unable to keep an unhappy Yakuba at the Riverside (Everton is said to have put in a $20 million bid for the Nigerian goal scorer extraordinaire). The defense should be solid with Jonathan Woodgate making his move from Real Madrid permanent, but Middlesbrough lacks invention in the midfield. The Riverside Stadium will be half empty once again by the middle of the season.

16. Sunderland

Main additions: GK Craig Gordon (Hearts), D Russell Anderson (Aberdeen), F Michael Chopra (Cardiff City), MF Kieran Richardson (Manchester United), D Greg Halford (Reading)

Main subtractions: D Kenny Cunningham (released), F Tommy Miller (released)

Breakout star: Michael Chopra - After failing to get regular first team action at Newcastle, Chopra left for Cardiff City last year and the 23-year old Englishman provided 22 goals and 12 assists for the Bluebirds. That kind of performance caught the eye of Roy Keane, who will pair Chopra with Irish youngster Anthony Stokes, another potential breakout star.

American connection: Former U.S. national team captain Claudio Reyna played for the Black Cats for three seasons from 2001-2003 and scored three times from his central midfield position. After Sunderland was relegated in 2003, the team was forced to sell Reyna to Manchester City where he played for two seasons before landing in the MLS this season under the David Beckham Rule.

Outlook: You hate to underestimate Roy Keane. After assuming the manager's role, all Keane did was launch Sunderland from the bottom of the table to the Championship title and promotion. Keane has been unable to entice some of his top targets to the Stadium of Light this summer, but the capture of Scotland No. 1 keeper Craig Gordon is worth 10 points itself. Expect Michael Chopra and Anthony Stokes to provide the goals and look for the Black Cats to be active in the January transfer window as they make a late push to stay up.

17. Fulham

Main additions: F Diomansy Kamara (West Brom), F David Healy (Leeds), D Chris Baird (Southampton), MF Lee Cook (QPR), MF Steven Davis (Aston Villa), D Aaron Hughes (Aston Villa), D Paul Konchesky (West Ham), F Hameur Bouazza (Watford)

Main subtractions: F Heidar Helguson (Bolton), MF Michael Brown (Wigan), MF Claus Jensen (released), F Tomasz Radzinski (released)

Breakout star: Clint Dempsey - Call me a homer (I've been called worse), but Dempsey is the type of player with enough pizazz and imagination that Fulham has lacked. The 24-year old American is going to have to work for his minutes though as new manager Lawrie Sanchez has brought in a host of new players in the summer. Dempsey's flair and eye for goal will make him a fan favorite at Craven Cottage.

American connection: Team Stars and Stripes, er, I mean Fulham has a host of American players. Veteran frontman Brian McBride (nine goals last year) is still the Cottagers most consistent threat in front of goal and defender Carlos Bocanegra, who might be the best American defender currently, has been a mainstay in Fulham's defense and even provided five goals last year. Add to the mix Dempsey and Fulham has quite the American tinge to it.

Outlook: New manager Lawrie Sanchez has brought in a lot of new faces and it might take a while for them to gel. Sanchez performed marvels with Northern Ireland's national team in Euro 2008 qualifying, but Fulham have long been underachievers and that trend will continue this season.

18. Reading

Main additions: MF Kalifa Cisse (Boavista), MF Emerson Fae (Nantes)

Main subtractions: M Steve Sidwell (Chelsea) D Greg Halford (Sunderland)

Breakout star: Shane Long - Used primarily as a substitute last year, the 20-year old Irish striker will push Dave Kitson, Leroy Lita and Kevin Doyle for first team opportunities. Lita's freak preseason injury moves Long up the totem pole a notch early in the season and it's up to him to impress and nail down a spot in Steve Coppel's weekly lineup.

American connection: U.S. national team left winger Bobby Convey has plied his trade with the Royals since crossing the Atlantic in 2004 and former Colorado Rapids goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann is the man between the sticks for Reading. In the 2005-06 campaign, Convey was instrumental in helping Reading earn promotion to the Premiership scoring seven goals and adding 10 assists. A consistent starter at the beginning of last season, Convey handled most, if not all of Reading's free kicks and corner kicks, but he suffered a knee injury that limited him to just eight Premiership games. Convey lost his place to Irishman Stephen Hunt, who is making it difficult for Convey to get back on the field with his strong performances. Hahnemann, 35, continues to play at a top level and is one of three American goalkeepers starting in England's top division ( Tim Howard at Everton and Brad Friedel at Blackburn).

Outlook: In the U.S., we call it the sophomore jinx and while Reading enjoyed a banner year in its first season in the top flight, the Royals lost their best player (Steve Sidwell to Chelsea) and did little in the transfer market to upgrade the roster. Most experts picked Steve Coppel's team to be among the relegated last year, but the manager was able to engineer an eighth place finish. And while Reading isn't afraid to back down from more talented opponents, the quality just isn't there this year.

19. Wigan Athletic

Main additions: MF Michael Brown (Fulham), D Titus Bramble (Newcastle), F Antoine Sibierski (Newcastle), MF Jason Koumas (West Brown), D Mario Melchiot (Rennes)

Main subtractions: D Leighton Baines (Everton), MF Lee McCulloch (Rangers), D Arjen De Zeeuw (released)

Breakout star: To be honest, not much to chose from here. Maybe that's why I have Wigan being relegated. But if I must pick one it would be Swedish defender Andreas Granqvist. The towering (6-foot-3) center back joined Wigan on loan last year from Helsingborgs and the move was made permanent in the summer. Liverpool and Bayern Munich expressed interest in Granqvist, who is becoming a fixture with the Swedish national team (a team I secretly have a crush on).

American connection: Wigan's new manager Chris Hutchings' namesake across the Atlantic had quite the successful career as a production assistant on the "Desperate Housewives" pilot. We know, it's a stretch, but come on, it's Wigan.

Outlook: Wigan needed a result on the final day of the season last year to avoid the drop. This year, they won't be as lucky. The loss of the team's best player for the second year in a row (Baines this year, Jimmy Bullard last year) is not a good sign. Manager Chris Hutchings has his work cut out for him after Paul Jewell jumped ship. Jewell knows this team best and was wise to get out know while he still has his health because another season teetering on the brink might have killed him.

20. Derby County

Main additions: F Robert Earnshaw (Norwich City), D Claude Davis (Sheffield United), D Tyrone Mears (West Ham), D Andy Todd (Blackburn), D Andy Griffin (Portsmouth)

Main subtractions: none

Breakout star: Giles Barnes - The 19-year old winger drew interest from a number of Premiership clubs during the January transfer window, but the Rams held onto their prized possession with hopes of reaching the Premiership, which they did through the Championship playoffs. Barnes, who has played for England at the U18 and U19 levels, chipped in eight goals from midfield last year and is exciting to watch run up and down the wing.

American connection: Tried unsuccessfuly to pry U.S. naitonal team forward Eddie Johnson from the Kansas City Wizards. Last season, it was another former Wizard Josh Wolff who the Rams tried to bring to England, but the diminutive Wolff wasn't awarded a work permit because apparently Americans don't know how to play soccer. This week, Debry has been linked with yet another American player, midfielder Benny Feilhaber. Feilhaber scored the wundergoal against Mexico in the Gold Cup and had a hot and cold Copa America. Currently at Hamburg in Germany, Feilhaber is fighting for first team football, and has stated a desire not to return to Hamburg's reserve team.

Outlook: Derby just doesn't have the quality to stay up. Earnshaw has proven he can score goals, but he'll need help up top, but even if the Rams put balls in the back of the net, there doesn't seem to be enough grit in the back to keep balls out of the back of their own net. With that said, Derby is better than last year's last place finisher Watford and will prove prickly opposition at times.

We're now at the part of the summer when baseball roster moves become incredibly complicated and NBA personnel moves are incredibly underwhelming. We're past the non-waiver deadline in America's pastime and now all the big names in hoops have already signed. So why are we doing a rumors post? Hey, it's a slow morning and there's some interesting stuff going on alright. Sheesh.

Pena done in Boston?

After signing Bobby Kielty, the Red Sox might finally be done with the Wily Mo Pena experiment. The Providence Journal reports that the Sox may be ready to move on from the 25-year-old with tantalizing tools but no consistency. Pena is currently hitting .219 with five HR and 16 RBI in 70 games played. He's also struck out 56 times while only walking 14. The Padres and Pirates showed interest in Pena before the non-waiver trading deadline and now the outfielder has passed through waivers, making him available. But the Padres are in the thick of a pennant race and have already picked up Rob Mackowiak and Scott Hairston, so their outfield is crowded. The Pirates have the ability to give Pena an extended audition for next season, so they could make the move, provided they don't have to give up too much.

Contreras not happy, Dye looking at extension

Two of the bigger names bandied about at the deadline were both White Sox: Jose Contreras and Jermaine Dye. After not moving, Contreras has been demoted to the bullpen because of recent struggles. He has taken the move reasonably well, but he'd rather not be in Chicago if he's not back in the starting rotation next season. He told the Chicago Tribune, "If they don't want me as a starter next year, I want to be out of here." It will be exceedingly difficult for the White Sox to move him because he's owed a combined $20 million for 2008 and 2009, and since the 2006 All-Star break he's 9-23 and 1-10 over his last 12 starts. To move him, Chicago would likely have to take on a significant portion of his salary.

Jermaine Dye wasn't moved at the deadline despite being in the final year of his contract. His agent, Bob Bry is currently discussing an extension with the White Sox. Dye was miffed when the Sox extended Mark Buehrle without talking to him, since he's made it known he wants to stay in Chicago. He has made it clear that he would accept less money to stay in Chicago than he would get on the open market. The Red Sox were the most likely destination for Dye before the deadline but the two teams couldn't agree on an exchange.

Wilson to the Tigers?

Jack Wilson has told the Pirates he would waive his no-trade clause to move in a proposed deal to the Detroit Tigers, according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. First he has to pass through waivers, which is a likelihood, since he's owed $14.25 million over the next two years. The only sticking point in the deal to the Tigers would be how much of that salary each team would pay.

Jermaine O'Neal backpedals rapidly

Let's face it, Jermaine O'Neal has wanted out of Indiana since before last season and he desperately wants to go to the Lakers. He trains in Los Angeles, his wife loves it there and one of his best friends, Kobe Bryant, is toiling there in need of a running partner. But currently he's playing the good soldier and bowing to Larry Bird, claiming he wants to remain a Pacer. In an interview with Pacers.com he talks about how he doesn't think the team is "rebuilding" and that they can win now. Yeah, right. Personally I think Bird read O'Neal the riot act after this weekend's comments about wanting a move to LA.

Bird probably told him that if he doesn't shut his mouth, he'd be content to let him rot on the Pacers' bench for a year before the star has the right to opt-out of his contract. Obviously that would severely diminish his value. I still think O'Neal will move before the season and that it will be to Los Angeles for some combination of Kwame Brown, Lamar Odom and Andrew Bynum, but not all three. I think the Lakers would love the Pacers to take Brown's expiring contract and Bynum, but the Pacers will hold out for something better. Eventually the pressure on both Bird and especially Mitch Kupchak, will force a deal to get done, no matter what the price.

The Nets have also inquired about O'Neal and according to the Bergen Record Bird responded by asking for Richard Jefferson, Nenad Krstic and Marcus Williams. No word on whether Nets GM Ed Sefanski laughed himself silly or not. Nice one Larry. Why don't you should try shooting a little higher? Just a suggestion. Putz.

Miller to the Celtics?

The big rumor around these here internets today involves the possibility of a 42-year-old Reggie Miller making a comeback to play with the Boston Celtics. Now look, Reggie Miller is the kind of guy who you hated when your team faced him. He trash-talked, seemed like a prick and always seemed to hit a huge shot in the clutch that put a dagger in your team's collective heart. Then when he retired you could finally stop hating him. He turned into a guy you couldn't help but respect. A guy who played his whole career for one team and stayed loyal no matter what

If he comes back to a different franchise it just won't be the same. I always thought of him as a little different and I understand the need of an aging player to get one last shot at a ring, but it will tarnish his legacy just a little for me. Plus, the Celtics will not, repeat will NOT, win a championship. They have three aging stars, two of whom have had recent injury problems, Rajon Rondo and Kendrick Perkins. I'm sorry, you can't win a title with that starting five. Miller would give you 15 minutes a night and some three-point shooting, that's not going to put you over the top. A team like that can compete for an Eastern Conference title, but there is no way they could contend with the Spurs, Suns or Mavericks. I really hope Miller doesn't come back.

When reports came out about NBA games possibly being fixed by referees, most of us were upset but knew that a betting scandal is always a possibility in the major sports. Gamblers and organized crime will obviously do whatever they can to get an edge when it comes to betting on sports, but this is getting ridiculous. Bob Bryan, one of the world's top doubles players, told the Los Angeles Times that he knew for a fact that men's tennis players have been the targets of anonymous phone requests to fix matches.

Bob and his twin brother Mike are currently the top doubles team in the world, and he is also a member of the ATP Players Council. Here's his quote about the situation:

"I don't know of any players that have ever gambled on tennis. But there have been some anonymous calls to players' rooms with some monetary offerings. I know that. And I know every player I've talked to has turned it down."

This all came up because the ATP is looking into suspicious betting on a match last week between Russian Nikolay Davydenko and Argentina's Vassallo Arguello. Betfair, a British-based online gambling site, voided all bets on the match because of suspicious circumstances. Over $7 million in wagers were placed in favor of Arguello, most of which were placed after Davydenko won the first set. Arguello ended up winning the match when Davydenko retired due to a foot injury. Davydenko's agent claims that neither the player nor his entourage were involved. Davydenko is currently ranked fifth in the world.

We can't believe it. Our beloved tennis may have fallen victim to the world of organized crime. OK, I can't pull this off, I haven't watched an entire men's tennis match in like four years, if that. But I think this story is hilarious. Who bets on tennis? I didn't even know you could. And you think that might look a little suspicious if a ton of money comes in on the lower ranked dude after he's already down a set? Seriously, I thought organized crime was supposed to be, oh I don't know, organized. Well on the bright side, when he blows his next match he should have won, Andy Roddick will have another excuse in his back pocket. As I've said before, anything is better than the Big Mac defense.

Well, Bonds finally broke the record and really, is anyone outside of San Francisco excited about it? Just to clarify one final thing, since a few Bonds supporters have made comments on this site about whether or not we can be sure the charges in "Game of Shadows" are 100 percent true or not. If anything in that book was incorrect, the athletes mentioned in its pages (Bonds, Gary Sheffield, Jason Giambi, Marion Jones, Bill Romanowski, Tim Montgomery, Benito Santiago, etc.) would have sued the shit out of Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams for libel and defamation of character. To date, not one lawsuit has been filed.

To close the book on this issue let me say this, Barry Bonds is a ridiculously talented individual and would have been a first ballot Hall of Famer. But he sold his soul when he decided to do what others like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro had done to get better. His legacy will be forever tainted by that fact. I don't care if everyone else was cheating too, your mother always told you two wrongs don't make a right. that fact does not exonerate him. And to the "Hank Aaron could have cheated, we'll never know" crowd, shut up. You don't think someone, after all this time and all that has happened, would have possibly come forward and said something if that were true? You know how much money a book talking about Hank Aaron using steroids would make?

Regardless of that, what we do know is that Barry cheated and by supporting him or acknowledging his record you are tacitly approving of what he did and giving the impression that you think it's acceptable to cheat in order to get ahead. We just can't get on board with that. We'd like to think that somewhere, something pure still exists in sports. Hey, maybe we're naive and totally misguided in that stance, but we really hope not.